Bert must’ve cut some of it because it cuts to an ad and it comes back after they moved on. I bet Bert defended the guys because I’ve heard him say he like PMT before.
Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
Michael Nesmith Songwriter for the Monkees and Others, Dies at 78
Also considered one of the Pioneers of the Modern Music Video
The wool-capped musician also helped pioneer the modern music video
Michael Nesmith, the wool-capped singer-songwriter and guitarist who sprang to pop music stardom in the 1960s as a member of the Monkees, then went on to a multifaceted career as a country rock musician, music video pioneer, movie producer and media executive, died Dec. 10 at his home in Carmel Valley, Calif. He was 78.
The cause was a heart ailment, said Jason Elzy, the head of communications for Rhino Records, which represents the Monkees. Mr. Nesmith last performed less than a month ago, concluding a Monkees farewell tour in Los Angeles with singer and drummer Micky Dolenz, who is now the band’s sole surviving member.
Although the Monkees were a made-for-TV band, created by producers Bert Schneider and Bob Rafelson to capitalize on the popularity of the antic Beatles movies “A Hard Day’s Night” and “Help!," Mr. Nesmith sought to bring a musical seriousness to the group, which starred on an NBC sitcom for two seasons and became known for chart-topping singles such as “Last Train to Clarksville,” “I’m a Believer” and “Daydream Believer.” Critics usually panned the band’s records, but teenage girls flocked to their concerts: The Monkees’ first four albums all reached No. 1, and for a time the “Prefab Four” outsold the Beatles.
Mr. Nesmith, a deadpan singer with a Texas drawl, was writing songs and performing at Los Angeles nightclubs when he successfully auditioned to join the Monkees, not quite sure what he was getting into. The group also included heartthrob singer Davy Jones and multi-instrumentalist Peter Tork, and went on to play Nesmith songs including “Circle Sky,” “The Girl I Knew Somewhere” and “Mary, Mary,” which was first recor
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