This kid should stop beating around the bush v.redd.it/1grqk4i6fw131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iskjempe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Everytime someone asks me why I drive out to the country on the weekends, I tell them directly that I go to punch the biggest trees I can find

I don't like beating around the bush

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ship-7694
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2022
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My dad can string this joke out forever. I've seen it go for 20 minutes.

A man gets a new job at the zoo.

On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.

"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"

The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.

After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.

Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, until one day he's on his monkey bars and getting really into it, but he slips and flies through the air, over the pit, clears the fence and lands in a pile of bushes in the next enclosure.

He is just beginning to pick himself up, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the foliage.

A pair of eyes lock with his.

It moves closer.

He knows this is it.

He begins to pray.

Suddenly the creature leaps and tackles him - the biggest, ugliest lion he's ever seen!

It leans in close.

He can see every gleaming tooth in it's mouth

He can smell the lion's breath

It opens it's mouth

And from inside the lion he hears a whisper.

"Make this good or we'll both lose our jobs."

πŸ‘︎ 661
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
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My wife thinks I'm taking too much time mowing the lawn

She said: "Stop beating around the bush and get to it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stibar
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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During George's administration, the Taliban flew a plane into the twin towers

I guess they weren't beating around the Bush.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Did you hear about the naked guy found circling the same bush over and over again at the park? The cops came to arrest him for indecent exposure. When asked why he would do such a thing...

he kept beating around the bush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5d2248650
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I was about to join the mosh pit at the recent Gavin Rossdale concert.

But I don’t beat around the Bush

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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You can never argue for very long with an Ent.

They always manage to get to the root of the conflict, instead of beating around the bush.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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My boyfriend's razor sharp wit

So after half an hour of trying to shave with an old razor, I walk out of the bathroom and say to my boyfriend "Honey, remind me to get a new razor, this one's blunt." and he replies "Well, I don't think one that beats around the bush would be much use either."

Groans ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aggibridges
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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