Bao Zheng Puns

Title says it all

(Typo in the title, meant Tai Bao Zheng obviously!)

Hi everyone, does anyone know if a 台胞证 (Mainland Travel Permit for Taiwan Residents) is still valid for exiting China when a corner is cut? It was used to enter the country (and still valid if it hadn't been cut), but when it was renewed they cut off a corner and the new one won't arrive in time before the flight out of China. The actual missing piece is still available and could be taped back on if that helps. If anyone has an idea, let me know! Much appreciated.

Variety Guest at 'Go Fridge!' (Hosts: He Jiong, Jackson Wang, some cooks.)

• In this show, they chat and look in the guests' refrigerators)

Variety Guest at 'Keep Running'(Hosts: Li Chen, Zheng Kai, Angelababy, Cai Xukun, WayV's Lucas, and (G)I-DLE's Yuqi. Past hosts: Deng Chao, Chen He, Luhan, Wang Zulan, Wang Baoqiang, Bao Bei'er.)

• In this show, celebrities go through mini challenges that give the winner/s of each a beneficial prize/clue of the last mission, which is name-tag ripping, and usually, this portion includes running, hence the name of the show.

Variety Guest at 'Happy Camp'(Hosts: He Jiong, Li Weijia, Wu Xin, Du Haitao, Zhang Yuqi, TNT's Ding Chengxin. Xie Na is on maternity leave.)

• In this show, celebrities interact with the hosts and participate in games, performances and more.

Variety Guest at 'Go Fighting!'(Hosts: Wang Xun, Lei Jiayin, Guo Jingfei, Yue Yunpeng, Jia Nailiang, Deng Lun, Justin Huang Minghao. Past hosts: Sun Honglei, Huang Bo, Huang Lei, Show Luo, Dilraba Dilmurat, Lay Zhang Yixing)

• In this show, the participants try to win games to win the final mission. Each episode has an overarching theme or story, like trying to solve a 'murder' or 'theft', ratting out the spy, deducing your team members etc.

Variety Guest at ‘Supernova Games’(Potential hosts: Zhang Dada. Potential guests: r1se, BBG)

• In this show, idols are split into teams and compete against each other in a sports game format.(Celebrity olympics)

LY, Santa and Riki as guests in 'Born to Dance'(Almost 100% confirmed, on ZJSTV)

Performers at Zhejiang Night show, CCTV Dragon Boat Gala

First EP, fan sign, and INTO1 variety show.

Zhang Fei's daughter: the modder 초보일러레 said he intended her as an unexpected beauty under the brute father. Historically both of Zhang Fei's daughters were married to Liu Shan as the first and second empresses.

(This was the initial version before the retouch. Following images are the newest.)

https://preview.redd.it/7711utbqvrm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3cb33f98e846b56a9fb475d73231ea8f1599e1ab

https://preview.redd.it/bvb0cobqvrm61.jpg?width=849&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=916e36e1a2adf67d76094c865374dda9547ec1b2

Guan Yu's daughter: the modder commented he tried to make her resemble Guan Yu's features.

https://preview.redd.it/hss76q6zasm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64c00fd33636497adf8e6611878a3f8ef75d0853

https://preview.redd.it/3xfysmbqvrm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=932490ccabf8a16d8783ec66c08bf621884ebd2f

This is Zhang Bao, Zhang Fei's son.

https://preview.redd.it/icugjobqvrm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1c417c56a162010d10c7fe608eb528abdf59ff9

https://preview.redd.it/bzulagniasm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ed7a3139a33ebb76a85b078fa4bcffb8e409fe9

This is Zheng Lan, Zhang Yan's wife.

https://preview.redd.it/3tkoezjjasm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e34ec0a1cdf600ccf6d1f59aac5eb3ef4d173917

https://preview.redd.it/iokyy1kjasm61.jpg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f5c835bfbcd0ef76c6525cc5b1c73c88fedb071

And lastly Zhang Ji, Zhang Sue's aunt for whom Cao Cao lost his son and the trusted bodyguard in his lust. The modder said she is work in progress.

https://preview.redd.it/rrcoqobqvrm61.jpg?width=733&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=966065f912890015446b64bf35520e7d3051b6be

New edition, coming with a lot of silk! I will be posting dresses & statement pieces next.

I've marked with * the sellers from which I have made a purchase in the past and would recommend. Others have passed the first round of my screening, but I have yet to test them out. If you tried any of them, I'd love to hear your impressions.

2-piece outfits

Drape yourself in this olive gold outfit - acetate (seller: Kohs)

Cotton 2-piece chill out set in neutrals - seller: Icoco

Blouses & Tops

Look at the texture on this blouse - in neutral colors; polyester (seller: Kohs)

Jacquard textured sleeve top - pure silk; I bought this from another seller, and love it (seller: Icoco)

Classic Theory silk blouse - looks like grey market, 100% 21mm silk (seller: Diabaofang)

Vince heart shaped neck tank top - viscose& poly blend as the original (seller: Bao Zheng) , alt link from Luo Jingjing

Theory Mélange alpaca-blend cardigan - alpaca+nylon as the original (seller: Light Dance)

[Or this one with gold-button details ](

|| Cao Pi's Ascension ||

BGM: The Crest of Thirst

Background

In the year 220 AD, Cao Cao, the King of Wei, passed away and was succeeded by his ambitious son Cao Pi. Cao Pi was a man of great talent and sought to increase his power even further by arranging for Emperor Xian to abdicate the imperial throne in favor of himself. Since a majority of those placed by the emperor's side were loyal to the Cao family, there was little opposition to his rise to power. However, before he could successfully take his place as the new emperor, his younger sister, Cao Jie denied him her seal of approval and stood in opposition to his plans.

Cao Jie at the time was the 2nd wife of Emperor Xian and referred to as Empress Xianmu. She disapproved of her family ending the Han dynasty and ascending to a position that her father had refused to take for years before his death. While Cao Jie was determined to stop her brother, she had few allies to stand with her and received assistance from the old hermit Zuo Ci. With a way to finally fight back against her brother, Cao Jie stages one last confrontation with her brother in Xuchang and faces off against his supporters with the sunset behind her signifying the end of an era.

Conditions

Victory: Defeat all enemy officers.

Defeat: Cao Jie is routed.

Targets

~ Zuo Ci and Zhao Eqin do not withdraw.

~ Defeat Cao Pi and Sima Yi within 10 minutes.

~ Defeat all enemy sub-officers.

Overview

Cao Jie starts off inside her main camp alongside Zhao Eqin at the imperial palace entrance at the highest elevation. Zuo Ci is positioned between the East Palace Post and West Palace Post while Bao Xun and Ding Yi defend the West Fort. Cao Pi's forces are spread all throughout Xu Chang and have already breached all allied positions. Cao Pi, himself, is awaiting Cao Jie's arrival at the Southwest Fort.

Zhen Ji and Bianshi have already infiltrated the main camp with Wang Yi and Xin Xianying advancing from below to join the assault. Zhao Eqin will urge Cao Jie to leave them to her and focus on rendezvousing with their allies. If Cao Jie stays and defeats them, Zhao Eqin will be inspired and move to assist the West Fort, now under attack by Xu Shu and Man Chong. If the main camp falls and Zhao Eqin is defeated, all of Wei officers in the Outer Palace Square will begin attacking Cao Jie and Zuo Ci.

After rescuing Zuo Ci from Xu Zhu, he will begin his incantations to create phantom

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

Feyonce

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.

You look for the fresh prints!

Transparent

(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)

(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)

|| Battle of Jing Province ||

BGM - Run Run Run
After Lu Meng Appears - Irritation

Background

After Liu Bei had successfully gained control of Yi Province, Sun Quan immediately demanded that Jing Province be handed over to Wu. Sun Quan wanted to ensure that Liu Bei honored his promise to give up the remainder of southern Jing after he established his own home residence and sent countless envoys to hear his response. Although Sun Shang Xiang wanted the matter to be solved peacefully, tensions began to rise after Liu Bei's sworn brother outright refused to hand over the territory while it was under his jurisdiction. Angered by Guan Yu's audacity, Sun Quan prepared an army to forcefully seize Jing.

Sun Shang Xiang feared the conflict in Jing would destroy the alliance between Shu and Wu if her brother succeeded with his hostile takeover. She joined Guan Yu's side and set out to oppose her brother's ambitions, hoping relations between the two would improve after they realized neither side benefited in the long run against Cao Cao.

Conditions

Victory: Defeat Lu Su and Zhuge Jin

Defeat: Guan Yu is routed.

Targets

~ Sun Shang Xiang and Liu Feng do not withdraw.

~ Enemy forces do not enter Changsha Castle.

~ Capture Guiyang Castle and Wuling East Watchpost within 10 minutes.

Overview

Shu forces occupy Changsha Castle in the northwest, Lingling Castle in the center, and Wuling Castle in the south. Guan Yu will stay in the main camp with Guan Ping, Zhou Cang, Zhao Yun, and Huang Zhong starting at the south and east gates. Sun Shang Xiang occupies Lingling Castle with Mi Fang and Fushiren assisting her while Jian Yong and Mi Zhu defend Lingling Fort, south of the castle. Liu Feng starts off in Wuling Castle with Liao Hua and Zhao Lei near the North Wuling Watchpost. At the beginning of the battle, Zhao Yun and Huang Zhong will attack Guiyang Castle while Liao Hua and Zhao Lei move to reinforce Liu Feng.

Wu forces will begin in the eastern and southern portions of the battlefield as well as Guiyang Castle. Zhuge Jin will be in Guiyang South Fort while Lu Su is in the Wu Main Camp in the southeast. Ling Tong, Ma Zhong, and Sun Jiao have already infiltrated Wuling Castle, and Cheng Pu has already engaged in battle with the defenders of Lingling Fort. Huang Gai is left in charge of defending Guiyang Castle and has Chen Wu and Zhou Xun attack Changsha East Watchpost.

As the

|| Campaign Against Yuan Shu ||

BGM - PARADE OF DEATH

Background

In the year 197 AD, a warlord by the name of Yuan Shao claimed himself to be the emperor of a new dynasty using the authority of the Imperial Seal. While he expected to gain newfound influence and power, Yuan Shu was instead labeled a traitor by the Imperial Court and designated as a target for subjugation. At the time, a man named Cao Cao was the Prime Minister of the Han and called for all warlords surrounding Yuan Shu to join in the attack led by his subordinate Liu Bei.

Among those who answered the call was Yuan Shu's former ally Sun Ce. In the past, Sun Ce traded the Imperial Seal that was discovered by his father to Yuan Shu for men and horses and felt partially responsible for his reckless actions. Alongside Sun Ce was younger sister Sun Shang Xiang. She was known for her interest in martial arts and archery and earned the nickname "Bow-waisted Princess". It was here on campaign to eliminate Yuan Shu that she would meet the man whose fate was intertwined with her own.

Conditions

Victory: Defeat Yuan Shu.

Defeat: Sun Ce is routed.

Targets

~ Slay Ji Ling.

~ Capture Yuan Shu's main camp within 7 minutes.

~ Liu Bei, Sun Ce, and Xun You do not withdraw.

Overview

Liu Bei's forces will start in the northeast while Sun Ce's forces start in the southwest. Liu Bei's forces will split into two fronts led by Zhang Fei and Xun You while Sun Ce's forces split into three led by himself, Zhou Yu, and Wu Guotai. Sun Ce and Zhang Fei will advance towards the central castle while Wu Guotai and Xun You's group (Zhu Ling & Han Hao) attack the Southeast Fort. They will join the attack on Yuan Shu after capturing it. Zhou Yu and Lu Fan will head north towards Yuan Shu's main camp.

After Zhang Fei's group (Jian Yong, Mi Zhu, and Mi Fang) breaches the east gate and Sun Ce's group (Da Qiao, Sun Quan, and Sun Yi) breaches the south gate, Yuan Shu will run away towards his main camp in the northwest of the battlefield. Ji Ling will abandon the west gate to defend the castle against them and cover his lord's retreat. Defeating him makes him temporarily withdraw and allows Liu Bei to advance. All forces begin to pursue the fleeing Yuan Shu once Yuan Yin has also been defeated.

If the enemy main camp is captured from Yuan Yao and Lady Yuan, Yuan Shao will order half his army to attack their castle instead of stalling the pursuers. Ji Ling will rea

|| Battle of Mai Castle || - {Uses the Battle of Baidi Castle map from Dynasty Warriors 5}

[Conditions]

Victory: Defeat Lu Meng.

Defeat: Guan Xing or Guan Yinping are routed.

[Targets]

~ Enter Mai Castle within 5 minutes.

~ Defeat Mi Fang, Xu Huang, and Zhou Tai.

~ Guan Yu, Guan Ping, and Zhou Cang survive the battle.

[Overview]

The Wu army has surrounded Mai Castle located on the eastern side of the map with attacks coming from Wen Pin in the north, Pan Zhang in the east, and Lu Dai in the south. Guan Yu, Zhou Cang, and Wang Fu rest inside of Mai Castle while Guan Ping, Liao Hua, and Hu Ban defend the north, east, and south gates. Shu forces led by Guan Xing and Guan Yinping will advance from the southwest towards Mai Castle's south gate. Liu Feng will remain in the Southwest Camp and designate it as the escape point.

Once Wen Pin is defeated, Guan Yu, Guan Ping, and Zhou Cang will attempt to escape through the north forest but will be ambushed by Ma Zhong forest exit. Lianshi, Wu Guotai, and Yu Jin's units appear in the forest and assault them as well. If the player reaches Mai Castle and defeats all enemies attacking the south gate before Xi Zheng is defeated, Guan Yu will decide to withdraw south instead and cause the ambush units to reveal themselves and besiege Mai Castle's north gate.

After Ma Zhong's appearance, Lu Meng orders Ling Tong and Gan Ning to lead another wave of officers against Mai Castle from the east. At the same time, Jiang Qin requests Lu Xun and Mi Fang to aid him prevent Shu reinforcements from arriving by defeating Liu Feng. Lu Meng will turn his attention towards Liu Feng if Jiang Qin's forces are defeated.  Defeating Gan Ning and Ling Tong causes Lu Meng to order all remaining Wu officers to pursue Guan Yu. Wang Fu, Liao Hua, and Hu Ban will then make their way towards Guan Yu if they haven't been routed.

Huang Zhong and Fa Zheng arrive as reinforcements one minute after Jiang Qin's defeat and will defend the southwest camp until Guan Yu arrives. Huang Zhong will switch to escorting Guan Xing or Guan Yinping if their health drops below 50%. Two minutes later, an army led by Cao Ren arrives in the north while an army led by Sun Quan arrives in the south. Zhang Fei appears soon after as well.

The battle ends when Lu Meng is defeated.

°°°

U N I T   I N F O

() means reinforcements/ambush unit

^ means defection

{!} means death

°°°

[Mai Castle]

.

.

//Shu Forces//

Fan Yufeng** - ~

|| Yellow Turban Rebellion ||

[Background]

Towards the end of the Han Dynasty, the great teacher of the Way of Peace Zhang Jiao led an uprising numbering in the millions against the Imperial Court. In order to help quell this rebellion, the imperial court assembled warlords from across the country to eliminate the rebels and kill their leader.

[Conditions]

Victory: Capture the Yellow Turban Main Camp.

Defeat: He Jin is routed

[Targets]

~ Destroy the central altar within 5 minutes.

~ Defeat Zhang Jiao, Zhang Liang, and Zhang Bao.

~ Ensure that He Jin and Dong Zhuo reach the Yellow Turban Main Camp.

[Overview]

Liu Bei and Cao Cao’s forces will advance west to attack Zhang Liang’s forces and the main allied army will force their way through the center of the battlefield to reach Zhang Mancheng. Sun Jian’s forces will advance east with Tao Qian and battle the Yellow Turbans commanded by Zhang Bao. All three sub-commanders use magic to stall the Imperial Army and each will attempt to fall back to the Yellow Turban Main Camp once the allied forces have defeated the officers under them.

Once all three fronts converge to surround Zhang Jiao’s position, all previously defeated enemy officers reappear and charge out of the enemy main camp. If Zhang Liang, Zhang Bao, and Zhang Mancheng successfully reached Zhang Jiao, every Yellow Turban officer will have their morale boosted to max until all three are defeated.

Capturing the Yellow Turban Main Camp ends the battle.

°°°

|| Hu Lao Gate ||

[Background]

After the rebellions of the Yellow Turbans and the 10 Eunuchs, Dong Zhuo seized control of the Han Imperial Court and began a reign of tyranny. In response to his atrocious acts, Yuan Shao called upon warlords throughout the land to form a coalition to defeat Dong Zhuo and free the emperor.

[Conditions]

Victory: Defeat Dong Zhuo.

Defeat: Yuan Shao is routed.

[Targets]

~ Defeat 15 officers within 10 minutes.

~ Breach Hu Lao Gate within 15 minutes.

~ Defeat Lu Bu.

[Overview]

The coalition army begins in the east around Si Shui Pass Main Camp and advances on three fronts to reach Hu Lao Gate. Cao Cao and Kong Rong’s forces will be tasked with taking an alternate path guarded by Li Jue and Guo Si’s forces while Liu Bei’s forces, Gongsun Zan’s forces, and Tao Qian clear a path with higher elevation guarded by Fan Chou. They will ambush Zhang Xiu’s forces if the main army hasn’t reached him yet. Sun Jian’s forces and Yuan Tan’s unit will adv

|| Battle of Mai Castle ||

[Background]

In the year 219 AD, Guan Yu, the God of War, invaded the Wei territory of Fan Castle following the success of Liu Bei's Campaign for the lands of Hanzhong. He planned to secure northern Jing for a later invasion of Wei's capital and used the moment in an attempt to defeat the master of defense, Cao Ren. Believing victory was assured, Guan Yu brought along his children to the battlefield to have them witness his might first hand. Unfortunately, the tides of the battle shifted after Wu betrayed Shu and allied with Wei to kill Guan Yu.

Seeing the situation becoming more dangerous as it went on, Guan Yu sent his children, Guan Xing and Guan Yinping, back to Yi to request reinforcements. By the time they found aid, news of Guan Yu withdrawing to Mai Castle came. Knowing their father wouldn't last long, Guan Yu's children brought as many allies as they could, including the children of Zhang Fei, ahead of the main army of reinforcements in an attempt to rescue him before it was too late.

[Conditions]

Victory: Defeat Lu Meng.

Defeat: Guan Xing or Guan Yinping are routed.

[Targets]

~ Enter Mai Castle within 5 minutes.

~ Defeat Mi Fang, Xu Huang, and Zhou Tai.

~ Guan Yu, Guan Ping, and Zhou Cang survive the battle.

[Overview]

The Wu army has surrounded Mai Castle located on the eastern side of the map with attacks coming from Wen Pin in the north, Pan Zhang in the east, and Lu Dai in the south. Guan Yu, Zhou Cang, and Wang Fu rest inside of Mai Castle while Guan Ping, Liao Hua, and Hu Ban defend the north, east, and south gates. Shu forces led by Guan Xing and Guan Yinping will advance from the southwest towards Mai Castle's south gate. Liu Feng will remain in the Southwest Camp and designate it as the escape point.

Once Wen Pin is defeated, Guan Yu, Guan Ping, and Zhou Cang will attempt to escape through the north forest but will be ambushed by Ma Zhong forest exit. Lianshi, Wu Guotai, and Yu Jin's units appear in the forest and assault them as well. If the player reaches Mai Castle and defeats all enemies attacking the south gate before Wen Pin is defeated, Guan Yu will decide to withdraw south instead and cause the ambush units to reveal themselves and besiege Mai Castle's north gate.

After Ma Zhong's appearance, Lu Meng orders Ling Tong and Gan Ning to lead another wave of officers against Mai Castle from the east. At the same time, Jiang Qin requests Lu Xun and Mi Fang to aid him prevent Shu