What do you call a cheesy baby deer on your lawn in the morning?
"You got spat on, you big baby, it's not the end of the world!"
"That's not what I said. I said it was the alpaca lips!"
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound, his reply...
he can't have my nose, I need it!
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed.
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"
I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
If a woman has a baby on a piece of wood.
She would give birth on the labour board.
My friend was pregnant and had the baby in car on her way to the hospital
her husband named him "Carson"
What did the momma buffalo say to her baby buffalo on his way to school.
This car has a baby on board
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
There was a recent study done on a baby's first words.
It had some interesting dada to go by.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
The woman storms off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
MIRACLE: Baby boy birthed on an airplane
Cabin crew says he was air-born.
Found a baby blue jay on the ground. Not sure what to do with it.
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,
“Nobody puts baby in a coroner”
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
What do you call a baby growing on a vine?
Who brings baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
Babies can't even have food on their own
My wife gave birth to a baby boy in the car on the way to the hospital.
What do you call a baby being born on the stairs?
Names for a baby born on a plane
A young-looking sea captain comes on deck to greet his crew for the first time and one man blurted out by accident, "He's a baby!"
The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."
A husband sees his baby on the ultrasound for the first time...
The ultrasound technician asks what names they thought of.
The dad remarks "his name will be Miles. Kilometer for short."
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday!
I read a book on prime numbers to my baby son....
...and I had his undivided attention.
The doctor walked into the room with a sad look on his face and handed me a new born baby
He told me “sorry your wife didn’t make it”
I then handed him the baby back and said “well bring me the one my wife made”
I'm always asked to put on a new diaper for our baby, but I childishly refuse.
My wife wishes I would change.
Why did the momma pepper put a jacket on her baby?
Because he was a lil chili
How do you get your baby to sleep for an hour on a plane?
Take a 12 hour plane trip
When Mrs. Exclamation told her husband This that she was pregnant with her second set of twins, he was very excited. As had happened with her first twins, the babies looked nothing like their father. He didn't realize it though, and once again she put his name on the birth certificates.
Now This raises more questions.
Do you know why your baby brother chews on my watch?
He likes to eat all the time!
Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a hill where a lot of baby horses are buried?
My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills
I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.
Even the baby seemed impressed.
My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."
I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...
I sat next to baby on a ten hour flight. I had no idea someone could cry for ten hours straight.
Even the baby seemed surprised that I could do it.
A woman gets on a Bus with her Baby.
A woman gets on a Bus with her Baby. The Bus Driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest Baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you,
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