Asbestos Puns

I'd really hate to run across asworstos.

Just make sure you don’t touch my art insulation.

(Art installation)

“Just clean it as-best-os you can.”

Source: my dad

I mean, I did asbestos I can.

He replied, "As-best-as it can."

A carcinojinn.

Having the floor refinished at work they found asbestos in the adhesive. After workers came out 3 times to remove it all we were still complaining about some being left behind.

I look to my boss and say, "Well, I guess they got it asbestos they could!"

The slogan will be "We'll do asbestos we can"

...just deal with it asbestos you can.

Cause at least it wasn't asworstos.

Edit: credit to /u/BlameItOnBlue

Asbestos you can

I wasn't great but I did asbestos I could.

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

They’re dealing with it asbestos they can

My fiancee and I just found out there is asbestos in our apartment. My mom texted me and asked how I was doing after she found out. I texted back "were doing asbestos we can."

drops mic exits stage left

Edit: corrected spelling of fiancee because I am a heterosexual male.

Edit: holy shit this thread is spreading like cancer.

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

You should avoid them asbestos you can.

My coworkers and I were taking asbestos safety classes. The instructor told us to do a good job on our tests. I looked over at the instructor and said, "I'll do this job, asbestos I can." Instructor couldn't contain himself.

He was just doing asbestos he could!

So just try asbestos you can.

"No guarantees, but I'll do asbestos I can."

I'm doing asbestos I can!

My dad and I do asbestos removal on natural gas pipelines. The people we were working for were debating if they needed us to stick around for them to expose another pipe or not. They decided that we could just come back another day. My dad then says to the guys in his fake southern twang he puts on every time we work outside of Chicago, "It's a dang good thing you guys decided against us staying. My truck seems to work fine during the Day, but every time I shift to N for night time mode it doesn't seem to want to go anywhere. I'd hate to get stuck out here." All of the older guys loved it and I just stared and shook my head.

My boss told me I had to clean up the mechanical room in the building I work in but I couldn't sweep the floor because of asbestos. I replied with, "I'll clean it asbestos I can."

Client: this building looks horrible I wouldn't be surprised if there was asbestos everywhere Me: hey we are doing as bestas we can!