Animal Kingdom Puns

Elephantastic

Dam right they are.

The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.

Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.

The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.

The mosquito was on the lamb.

The mantis, because they are always praying.

Crow-bars

Because cows have udder control.

a rhino because its horny

Baby Giraffes.

Is steak... medium with just a little pink inside. With a salad is nice too. And potato with butter. Mmmm... love those steaks, roaming wild on the Savannah.

Sorry. Got distracted.

So we were talking about what separates humanity from the rest of the animal kingdom, and we got on the subject of mice. Prof had mentioned that a mouse will laugh if you tickle it's belly, but you can't tell it a good joke. My reply: "it might if it's really cheesy"

badum, tiss

I normally telegraph my jokes, but this one was totally natural... Talking to my wife about my sister's upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and how they were going in May...

Wife..."have talked to your sister about crowds because of the opening of Pandora at Animal Kingdom?"

"Yeh, they are going down opening weekend, but skipping Animal Kingdom completely, I bet it's going to be a real zoo there..."

Edit

Obligatory eye roll and groan.

"Holy crap, I didn't even do that on purpose!"