What’s the largest superlative of the animal kingdom?

Elephantastic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HallaienHelge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom?

Dam right they are.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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I’m the animal kingdom, it’s considered a heinous crime for a malaria-infected mosquito to bite.

The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.

Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.

The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.

The mosquito was on the lamb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadfullyBIzzy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Who is the most religious animal in the animal kingdom?

The mantis, because they are always praying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Where In the animal kingdom do you go to get stuff opened?

Crow-bars

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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If the Animal Kingdom was a dictatorship, why would a cow be named ruler?

Because cows have udder control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cobbywriter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Whats the most sexually active animal in the animal kingdom?

a rhino because its horny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flickrfrog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Giraffes have something that no other animals in the animal kingdom have. Do you know what that is?

Baby Giraffes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gambotron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Of the entire animal kingdom, I'd have to say my favorite

Is steak... medium with just a little pink inside. With a salad is nice too. And potato with butter. Mmmm... love those steaks, roaming wild on the Savannah.

Sorry. Got distracted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Got my whole class with this gem...

So we were talking about what separates humanity from the rest of the animal kingdom, and we got on the subject of mice. Prof had mentioned that a mouse will laugh if you tickle it's belly, but you can't tell it a good joke. My reply: "it might if it's really cheesy"

badum, tiss

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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My jokes are expected...But every so often I surprise myself...

I normally telegraph my jokes, but this one was totally natural... Talking to my wife about my sister's upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and how they were going in May...

Wife..."have talked to your sister about crowds because of the opening of Pandora at Animal Kingdom?"

"Yeh, they are going down opening weekend, but skipping Animal Kingdom completely, I bet it's going to be a real zoo there..."

Edit

Obligatory eye roll and groan.

"Holy crap, I didn't even do that on purpose!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilbandit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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