I didn't care for the Anglican church...
The people I met were quite obtuse, and their punishments for sins are too acute.
But they might be right.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
They don’t have any organs.
Music puns sometimes hit the high notes
If you remove all musical instruments from a church
When the church relocated ...
it had an organ transplant.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
In the church of the workshop...
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
What do you call it when a sister of the church is speaking gibberish?
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
Why did the melon have a church wedding?
A Higgs Boson walks into a church
The pastor says, “You can’t be in here!”
The Higgs Boson replies, “Well without me you can’t have mass.”
Where did the music notes go to get some fried chicken?
A kitten with a lisp goes to a different church every week.
Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...
...guess you could call me a serial sinner
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?
The deceased was an organ donor.
Did you hear about the guy that went streaking through the church?
They caught him by the organ.
How do you get your child excited to go to church?
Tell them they are going to the prayground
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
What happens to someone who farts in church?
They have to sit in their own pew.
I believe that orchestral music is inappropriate for kids.
There’s too much sax and violins.
For the music lovers out there
How many people showed up to the church yesterday?
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
What's a windmills favourite music?
Idk but I did hear they are a big metal fan.
What kind of music do fish like to listen to?
What does a phaser sound like in church?
My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?
You Dont Know How It Peels
Why doesn't emmentaal skip church?
Because it's a holy cheese!
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
Jehovah's Witness favourite band.
Barack Obama at our local church making continual ‘Ding Dong’ noises.
I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The second replies ‘I’m a big metal fan’
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
I have trouble reading music
Whenever I see a sharp, I wish it could just be flat
Why are dogs better at playing classical music than cats?
What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.
When Jedi go to church…
Do they sit in pew pew pews?
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets
PB&Js (in the shape of guitars)
Veggie tray
Fruit tray
Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have
Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, only to be stopped by a priest at the door. "I'm very sorry but we don't allow Higgs-Boson in here."
The Higgs-Boson then replies, "But without me, how will you have mass?"
I went to a karaoke bar that didn't have any 70s music.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
But then I saw they had Michael Jackson. It was a thriller.
What do you call Batman that skips church?
What do you call it when batman skips church?
What's it called when Batman skips out on Church?
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