Taking a car load of kids to amusement park today. One kid screams "Please tell me that's Knott's Berry Farm." ...

I reply, "It's Knott."

Kids in unison "Awww."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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Saw a guy riding an amusement park ride alone today.

I wonder if he still said "weeee!", or if he said "meeee!" instead.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/igdfr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...

It must have been the delivery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I amused my self after practicing today

What's the best part about being a unicyclist?

I'm never two tired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebastian-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
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I know you're rushing...

I'm a waitress and this one got dropped on me today when a family of 5 came in. They had previously stated they were in a hurry so brought them the check and said (i should probably mention that I have a very southern accent) 'I know y'all are rushin' so-' the dad cut me off with 'No, we're Americans.' His kids and wife were not amused and I just busted up laughing and high fived him. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insaneyetnoble
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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Got to dad joke my sister today!

My sister was putting my niece down for a nap today, but she was having some trouble getting her to calm down. After a little while of some fussing, my sister came out of her daughters room. I looked up and said "I guess she was resisting a-rest."

My sister was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brilliant_fungi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
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The look on my mom's face was priceless.

Last saturday, I was at my parents' house to watch the game. While my dad and I are watching, my mom is on her laptop looking at trees to plant in the back yard, and constantly asking my dad what he thinks about every species of tree she comes across. Suddenly, my mom's phone receives several text messages, emails, and app notifications simultaneously. My dad looks at her and says, "Well, aren't you Poplar today? Leaf me alone and go check your phone." I laughed my ass off, as did he. She was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaaryk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
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I was at the doctor's office yesterday

and before getting blood drawn the lady says "I'm Tamera, I'll be drawing you today" which I responded with, drawing me? Where's your pen & paper?

I couldn't keep from giggling Tamera wasn't amused

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zandermatthews
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
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Setting up a direct debit...

Happened earlier today, Mom was on the phone trying to set up the direct debit payment with the phone provider.

Dad: "How's it going?"

Mom: "He (call centre employee) says he's going to send me a mandate to fill in"

Dad: "That's fine, but you're definitely not going on any mandate!"

Mother was not amused... I was...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonbornAgain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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How I know I'm going to be a good dad

Today, I had my first official Dad Joke and my girlfriend was not amused.

Talking about seeing each other after a few days I was at the coast with some friends

Her: So when are you free?

Me: Well I'm always free since you dont actually pay me heh

Her: wow.. remind me why are we even dating?

I was pretty proud of myself and note this was all through the phone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CantCarryNoobs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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