Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells?
Because D shells were too big
The doctor or nurse always ask me my date of birth.
I tell them November 1st
They ask what year?
I say “Every year”
We both do a quick obligation laugh
I’ve done this 20x, always the same reaction
Whatrestraunt is always full of white people?
Why does Willem Dafoe always play villians?
If he played a good guy, he'd be Willem Dafriend.
My daughter just got me good… I said, “Did you know you can always see your own nose and your brain just ignores it?”
She said “yeah because it NOSE it’s there”
Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza?
They got into it before it was cool.
I don’t always make Titanic jokes
But when I do, I use them to break the ice
I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it..
So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
why must you always listen to the orders of an Electric eel?
Because it's always in charge.
My granddad always used to say, "as one door closes another one opens"
Wonderful guy, terrible cabinet maker.
Edit: thanks for the updoots and awards! You made my Reddit cake day! 😁
My wife and I always fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper roll, so our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
I always thought orthotic insoles were useless. But, I tried them and now...
Why are there always two medics in an ambulance
They’re not called pair a medics for no reason
I really loved the Harry Potter books. But the Gryffindor Ghost, "Nearly Headless Nick" has always annoyed me.
I think it's because he really was poorly executed.
When you see geese flying in the famous V formation, have you ever noticed that one side is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
There's more geese on that side.
From my 7yo Nephew, Why should you always bring toilet paper to gatherings?
For all the party poopers!
What letter is always wet?
i always wanted to be a plumber
but then i realized that was just a pipe dream
I don't always tell Dad jokes
But when I do he usually laughs.
I always confuse Idk with Idc
It's been so long I don't kare anymore
I’ll tell you what always catches my eyes?
Short people with umbrellas
Where can you always find money in the forest?
I always put my laughter in a jar...
I make the best laughing stock in town
I always knew my buddy wanted to be a graffiti artist.
I could see the writing on the wall.
Why do communists always use lower case letters?
because they're not filthy capitalists!
How do you always keep yourself warm?
Go to the corner - it's always 90 degrees!
Wife asked me why do I always knock on the fridge before opening it...
I said: "There could be a salad dressing"
My biggest talent is always being able to tell what's in a wrapped present.
I've always wanted to watch the show "Gone in 60 Seconds", but I can't find the DVD.
I swear I saw it here a minute ago!
Always use a lid when boiling water.
It’ll make it boil a lid-le faster!
Why do professional bakers and chefs always use butter?
Because there's no margarine for error.
I asked her, “Why are you always driving me crazy!?”
And she said, “Well, I'm the only taxi in town”
When speaking with Spanish people, make sure to always mention "mucho"
Why do Soviets always write in lower-case?
Because they hate Capitalism.
Why does the lawyer always bring Indian Food to trial?
Because it curry's favor.
I always manage not to crash when I drive
I guess that's why the officer commended me for wreckless driving.
Why do they always put swimming pools near the math department?
cuz chlorine kills algae bruh
I stopped using the freight scale to weigh myself, because it was always so rude…
No matter how much weight I lost, it kept calling me gross.
My wife hates how I always pretend we are on walkie-talkies
Wife: our relationship is over.
Me: our relationship is what? Over.
6 year old came home with this one. She always giggles before the punchline: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Siamese twins born in Norway always vacation in England
So the twin on the right gets a chance to drive
Why was Frankensteins’ monster always so angry?
He was all screwed up in the head
I asked my friend why he always wears tank tops...
He told me he has the right to bare arms.
I always knock on the fridge before I open it...
Just in case there is salad dressing.
Always knock before opening the fridge.
There could be a salad dressing.
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