But I can Samurais
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
Sorry, just realized this was a repost.
I love that the real dad jokes are the dad's trying to make a second joke based on the post haha. None of them are funny, they're all dry as the Sahara Desert, but like all good dad's, they're determined to keep trying.
Keep it up you silly gooses!
That was the highlight of my day.
It’s remarkable.
Heistory!
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
I hope It's Paul. He's cute.
They all conta gious one thing...bad puns!
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
It's my last resort!
Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"
Does that make one "intonational?"
I said thanks for your 2 cents.
The shop keeper said that's Madeira Cake
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
Lacks Cetacean..
But I’m just not ready to cross those bridges.
“Pull yourself together.”
“Sighs doesn’t matter, guys!”
It was a reduction.
However, I still hold The Grudge.
It was a Shietzoo!
I turn back to my son and say “it turns out, I’m not made of money”.
"Oh, it's just a badge oak."
"You see that steeple on that church over there? Yeah, I hit it."
That’s the liver.....
After all, they have to pass the bar.
It's totally gonna take off.
Having nothing much else to do to pass the time, they engaged in frequent conversation with each other about whatever tickled their fancy.
Well, one year, a sapling took root between the two trees and having not much else to talk about, they argued about the sapling for years.
"It's a son of a beech," the beech would say.
"No, it's a son of a birch," the birch would say.
And back and forth they would go.
Well one year, when the sapling was starting to get big and tall, a woodpecker happened to fly along and land on the beech.
The beech, seeing an opportunity to settle this argument once and for all, said, "Hey, woodpecker. I need a favor. I want you to fly over to that young tree there, and tell me whether that tree is a son of a beech or the son of a birch."
Well, the woodpecker not having much else to do said, "Sure thing!" and flew over to the young tree and gave it six good taps.
-tap tap tap-
-tap tap tap-
And flew back.
"Well?" the birch said.
"Well?" the beech said.
"Is it a son of a beech, or the son of a birch?"
The woodpecker said, "Neither."
"Neither!?"
"That, my friends," the woodpecker said, "is the best piece of ash I've ever put my pecker in."
Like the title says. We're having a large backyard style dinner on the Friday night before our wedding, it's called "Dinner, Drinks, and Dad Jokes". So...we need lots of dad jokes to tell all of our guests. If you would be so kind, hit me with some of your favorite dad jokes!
It was groundbreaking.
Titled "Assault" http://imgur.com/P8vQXfo
But the odd ones are just strange.
Examples:
- I haven't seen you all year!
- I haven't eaten all year
- I haven't slept all year
And variants thereof.
Happy New Year :)
Mom- "I'm really hungry!"
Grandma- "I am too!"
Sister- "I am three!"
Me- "Oh, I am 16.."
They have a punchline.
