Im 25/Live at home with my parents and work Full time in IT. Im not overweight, I weigh 140 Pounds and my Diet is horrible.
All my life I have loved computers. I have used them ever since i was a few years old. Always playing and tinkering with things.
My normal day goes something like this.
- Wake up at 8am for work.
- Sit down all day at work.
- Come home at 4.
- Fluff about on the PC till 6
- Have Dinner
- From 6:30 to 12am I goto my room and game/use the computer.
Im on my PC 7+ Hours per day during the week (14 Hours per day if you include work) and 12+ On weekends
The last few years its come to the realization that I very rarely do I play games for fun anymore. I merely do it to pass the time. I have this weird mentality that I need some sort of incentive/reward for doing anything in my life. Without this incentive/reward doing anything else seems pointless to me
I dont play Story games because the "story" doesnt interest me. I mainly play PVP games, Specifically league of legends. Too much league of legends.
PVP Games give me this rush of dopamine that makes me keep wanting more and pushing forward to get better and improve. The feeling of vsing other players and being better than them is so rewarding to me. Its the Incentive that entices me the most to play more
I dont interact with my family much, Im just sit in my room all day and game with my friends and watch twitch/youtube videos
Those that have Quit Video games or too a very long extended break, What did you do with your spare time?
You cant fill every second of your day with something.
I want to take an extended break from using my computer and playing video games
Please give me your advice
Thanks!
This is gonna be a long story, so grab yourself a little snack. English IS absolutely my first language, so bare with me - I'm going to err so bad at grammar and spelling, only hardworking non native English speakers can understand. Now... The Entitled Parents here are actually my own parents,because I literally do not know anyone worse than them, at least not personally. Soooooo.... Here we go.
I haven't actually seen any other couple like them. They have raised me such that I go to a psychiatrist every month due to anxiety and depression and spend a fortune on doctors and medicines. Every time I made a friend or dated someone, it's because I feel like I need a support system, and can't do without these people in my life. As a young woman, my dream, unlike most ofmy peers as educated as I am, is to have a child or two, regardless of whether or not I find a partner, and raise them with all the love and support I could never have. So here's my story. Mind you it's an on-going tale, so this story has no triumphant ending.
My parents are highly religious, and got married as per the religious custom of arranged marriage, wherein both partners are required to be of the same community, as well as have the right horoscopes that match. Its a rare thing to see these days, but I was raised to have a limited world view. I grew up thinking the only way to live is to have the husband work and the wife cook and birth babies. I proudly spread the word about my ideas too.
While I was a kid my parents were trying to have another child but couldn't and constantly made me feel like I'm not sufficient because of how they used to say that our family is incomplete without a sibling for me. My mum in fact told the 8 Yr old me that she's unable to get pregnant because she got malaria after giving birth to me. She also said my astrologer told her I'll never have a sibling - so I indirectly caused her to not have another kid. I fondly remember the time when they were at a fertility facility where they pretended I was my aunt's daughter because they did not prioritise couples with preexisting children.
Then came a time when my family had to move in the middle of school. They made me stay for a year with my maternal grandparents who abused me verbally and physically (NOT SEXUAL), and turned a blind eye, just because the school was closer from their house. They still don't accept their fault. I remember till now hoe they would prioritise their relationship with my grandparents
... keep reading on reddit ➡-
Track. Most meet days we get out at like 1. School gets out at 3:20. We miss over 1/2 the day thanks to track.
-
How people can be so fucking bitchy. Then if you say one thing that they don’t agree with they’re going to bitch glare at you. And then you learn that they have rbf but it’s still not a reason for them to be a bitch.
-
The amount of homework I have gotten at the end of the year. (Granted I’ve had probably 3 whole school days in the last 3 weeks thanks to track band ffa and more)
-
Reading Romeo and Juliet. Just no.
-
That kid that has a crush on you but you fucking hate their guts and like literally the whole fucking school knows that they like you and you keep giving them clues that you hate them. (Not saying hi back to them. Not talking to them etc.) But the kid DOESN’T GET A FUCKING CLUE! And you’re the quiet kid and you don’t want to say “CHRISTIAN I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS! GET A CLUE I DON’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!” Because everyone will stare at you like you’re crazy because you almost never talk!
I seriously want to explore this with you all. What explains the mental torment?
Some personal details on what I mean, n=1. My personality has changed (I’m bitter and no longer plan for the future), it’s infected my relationships (standard stuff discussed here about jealousy), impacted every aspect of my life (ability to enjoy hobbies, concentrate on work), and led to a diagnosis of OCD (previously had it in childhood but the symptoms that came while trying were new and different). Yes, I realize this veers into mental health issues and I’ve been on top of it.
But still: WHY? I have been through other bad things. Coming out as queer in a catholic family, depression, abusive dating experiences, suicide in family, alcoholic parents. I also have deep wells of resilience, am generally a grateful and hopeful person, love nature and humanity, have a big heart, proud of myself for professional and academic success, love of playing music. I just say this to mean: I have so much to be grateful for, and I have practice dealing with adversity. But infertility has been an experience like no other, and i just don’t understand WHY.
I have some colleagues that i talk to (I’m an academic specializing in gender issues) that just do not get why this experience would impact my work to the extent that I’d need to disclose it. I perceive that they think I’m silly and think less of my queer feminist politics. Trust me, I don’t give a flying fuck about what these people think, but it just makes me circle back to my question: if from the outside, my reaction to this experience is surprising, what is going on?
I am 3dp5dt on my first IVF and I haven’t been able to go to sleep because of thoughts like these. Then i get overtired and want to cry but i obsess about whether crying will cause a cortisol spike that will tug on a strand of my messed up hormone balance and ruin everything (a holdover from the worst of my OCD, most of which is under control - I’m touching receipts again! Lol except no, that was awful.)
What has YOUR experience been like, coming to terms with how infertility has impacted your life and changed you? Or NOT coming to terms? Did you see this coming? Were you unprepared? Why? Just why? Thank you in advance for taking my question seriously and taking time to respond.
my enemy has a legends scar and a green pump plus a drum gum i don’t know what else to think of coarse he has 200hp
that’s not even it , this whole day i have been using grey tags and drum shotguns, my enemies have these delicious guns and i’m basically fighting with my knees with these weird guns, i know gun skill goes a long why i have fun skill but i laze-redwing scars left and right ,
i hate lucky landing i never get guns it’s like the RNG targets me only , i was landed in a whole has and just found shells and ammo , i was so happy cause i can finally through shells at my enemies so fun!!🙄
My most recent owl dream was when my dad was driving me through my old city in which I lived in and these people driving by us had owls behind their cars and were flying.
My state (PA) has moved to close all businesses that are not essential or life-sustaining to help slow the spread of the coronavirus. And I was surprised to see that beer distributors are considered essential.
Some people say it’s b/c the state runs them (money grab). Others theorized that cutting off heavy drinkers could be life threatening.
Whatever the case, I was overcome by a wave of pure gratitude for where I am today. My whole family is housebound. If I were still drinking, instead of meal planning and helping my kids cope, I’d be freaking out over whether I could stockpile enough booze to sustain me. Then seeking out new and inventive hidey holes to dispose of my empties. (It’s been over 2 years and I’m still finding dead soldiers tucked away in drawers and behind book shelves.)
There was a time when I couldn’t imagine facing the worst challenges life had to offer without my oh-so-reliable safety net of drunk and comfortable numbness.
Shit’s getting real and scary around me. But not once have I wanted to bury my head in the sand and escape. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But I’m here, for myself and my family. And I’m so humbled and happy to have my wits about me.
I used to be on this sub a lot in the early days, always asking for help or guidance. So this post feels wrong to me. Braggy. But I hope anyone who’s currently struggling reads this far.
I never thought I’d be here. I quit so many times, failed and failed again. Nothing magical happened. I didn’t suddenly become a better or different person overnight. I’m still the same old flawed fuck-up I always was. I just love myself more now. And that didn’t come because I stopped drinking. It was the missing ingredient that enabled me to stop drinking.
Wishing everyone peace, health and resilience as we go through this together. Be kind to yourself, wherever you are on your journey. IWNDWYT.
Wouldn't normally class Revolver as "early Beatles" but since the new remixes start with Sgt Pepper we may as well fill in the gaps.
I was astounded how good I slept once I distanced myself enough from drinking (not just drinking in the evenings, but ensuring I had NO alcohol at all in my system). But that was just the first improvement. I realized I'm making a number of lifestyle and habitual changes, and that my motivation revolved around how my decisions were cascading into disrupting my sleep.
Caffeine? I'm down to no more than 3 caffeinated drinks a day. And nothing past 2pm! Otherwise, I won't feel sleepy in time OR will just not slip into dreamland as easily (toss and turn).
Sugar? Only very little, maybe two small cookies a day, otherwise, same thing.
Junk food? Anything that gives me indigestion or off balance, I'm phasing out. I hate trying to sleep when I feel a tumultuous tummy. Eating more and more "whole foods" diet.
Screen time? I need to stop at least 30 minutes before bed AND use a blue light filter.
Reading? I need to square away at least 15 minutes of reading time to allow myself to relax into sleep.
Exercise? I absolutely notice a difference if I can work out at least 3x a week. This one has been the most challenging to fit in...but it's a goal!
I used to hear of others doing this and think "Gee, that sounds kind of sad, how you're depriving yourself of things you want." But that was a misunderstanding: a solid, good sleep outweighs ALL those temporary pleasures! Getting into bed used to be filled with anxiety and disappointment. Now, and I kid you not, usually I squirm happily and giggle as I get into bed and grab my book and book light. Removing alcohol from the equation was the first and arguably the biggest (and most difficult) factor. Once that was conquered, the rest of these are just ever-ongoing improvements to help facilitate a seamless transition to dreamland!
I guess that means I’m not actually their sun.
I just turned 20 in September, so I’m at an age where this shouldn’t be a thing anymore, it’s ridiculous. My happiness 100% seems to revolve around validation from others. I have horrible confidence and self esteem issues, where I hate essentially every aspect of myself. Anything I accomplish I can’t be happy about bc I’m a pessimist. At 20 years old I’m going to be an RN next May, and from what I’ve been told that’s insanely young to have that kind of job, but it doesn’t matter to me.
My point in saying all that is I have a good life, there’s no reason for me to be so upset. I have a lot of friends who are all older than me and always say how mature I am for my age, them being 25-45 in the nursing program. All this being said I can’t be happy, and it’s starting to make me super depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts (I would never act on them though)
I have all these friends but I’ve always had the issue where I feel like I’m a burden to people, and it genuinely boggles my mind when people say they WANT and ENJOY being my friend. One example I haven’t ever forgotten was when I was 17 a girl I was friends with was at a party I didn’t get invited to; and she sought out the host and got me invited bc she wanted me to be there, which I couldn’t fathom and that was something that made so unbelievably happy bc someone actually thought about me without me being there.
Sorry about formatting and keeping on point my mind is kinda racing, any advice is appreciated
Hello,
I have a weird feeling lately, it's like every show on tv is about getting a woman or just women in general, it's like it's everywhere : comercials, tv shows, magazines...
The thing is i really start to enjoiy tv shows with only men or at least most of the set like "YELLOWSTONE" if you guys know it
If you have any thoughts or any recommendations for me i'll be gratefull.
Thank you
Now, I'm not talking about playing them for a few hours a week to relax, but when someone treats videogames as their lifestyle they are some of the worst people I know. Not just because of things like staring at screen all day (not to say staring at a phone all day is any better) and sitting still inside are bad for you, but alot of people have hardly any social skills because of this, and their personality is "a gamer". I also know people who spend thousands of dollars on games and consoles, let alone B.S skins. Because of this they are lacking necessities. Not that this is any of my business, this is just my opinion.
)