Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging Puns

The Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging, also known as the AWB, which means the Afrikaner Resistancemovement, are publishing their stances on the current government of South Africa, which they vehemently oppose. They are known to some as terrorists, murderers and neonazis, but others call them heroes, liberators and defenders of the old values. Most people see them as a fringe group with only several thousand members that receives too much media attention.

• The AWB fully supports the Volkstaat, the creation of a seperate country for Afrikaners.
• The AWB will oppose any effort to integrate inhabitants of Orania and surrounding villages in the imanyano system. The government has left these alone for now, to avoid conflict. The AWB has promised conflict if the government takes action.
• The AWB fully supports the rights of schools to teach Afrikaans and opposes the closing of private education, which will tell only black lies about the everything the blacks have to thank the Afrikaners for.
• The AWB supports the right to arm oneself to protect oneself against the black person.
• The AWB supports their integrated "special company" named the Order van die Dood, or the Order of the Death. The OvD has been described as an assassination squad by some.

Now with these points published, some people are afraid this will grow the numbers of the AWB, spawn attacks, bombings or assassinations.

The Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (Afrikaner Resistance Movement) (AWB) is a South African far right separatist political and former paramilitary organisation, since its creation dedicated to secessionist Afrikaner nationalism and the creation of an independent Boer-Afrikaner republic or "Volkstaat/Boerestaat" in part of South Africa. In its heyday in the 1980s and 1990s, the organisation received much publicity both in South Africa and internationally as a white supremacist group.

It was formed in 1973 by Eugène Terre'Blanche, who remained the leader until he was murdered on his farm in 2010. Terre'Blanche was succeeded as leader by Steyn van Ronge. Steyn van Ronge was killed 17 years later, and the current leader of the party, Bred Birgewanger, leads it today.

The Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging has decided that they want the right to become a proper political party. They have not been granted it yet, but the motion is still in the upper house. The proponents of democracy in the Senate agree to it, yet people are obviously against racism and race warfare in the Senate.

Action will be taken, and response will be given soon.

(Continued from South Africa part 6a: Xhosa Victory)

Afrikaners-- The Afrikaner situation can be summarized by the expression, "be careful what you wish for because you might just get it". Objectively Apartheid had worked. South Africa's dominant culture was Afrikaner, its dominant church Reformed Christian its political bodies dominated by Afrikaners. The British were sidelined outside of the economic sphere. Even inside the economic sphere British power was limited to big business which because it is a-cultural in so many respects would have been mostly the same even if it was run more by Afrikaners. The British internal and their external controls on the cultural and political development of South Africa were severely weakened and weakening further rapidly as a result of the collapse of the Coloured community as British support. While the British didn't adore the Afrikaner government they were still friendly enough not to be outright enemies but mostly work within the system. The economy was reorienting away from the British model of maximizing GDP growth and instead was far more of a Christian economy focused on providing a high and increasing standard of living for the Christian families trying raise their children in a god fearing environment. South African capitalism by not following the Anglo-American model was reinforcing not undermining Christian morality.

While many of the other tribes/nationalities living in South Africa were only mildly hostile to Afrikaner rule as the Xhosa were gaining in power they were becoming more likely to side with the Xhosa. The Xhosa were convincing many of the other tribes that tribal identity was not their nationality identity and they could all be part of a shared national South African identity as their primary identity. By itself this could be bad: the Afrikaners were already in a mild guerilla war against the Xhosa and external wars against other Soviet proxies. But if they managed to recruit other minor tribes they gained a tremendous number of new minor fronts and a full scale civil war then looked like a question of when not if.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Hitting this point again, reframing the conflict as one within a common South African nation Apartheid wasn't just a policy of separate national development which happened to be oppressive but rather it was a system of tribal / racial

The Federation Supreme Court makes headlines once again, this time prohibiting federal election officials from denying ballot access to political parties based on party platform or beliefs espoused by party members. The majority opinion cited the foundational principles of free speech, association, and representative government listed in Article I of the Constitution of the Bantu Federation, while dissenting justices argued that the Volkstaat ideology stands in direct opposition to those principles. The Court's judgement steered clear of a ruling on ballot access for criminal organizations, such as the Boer anti-government militia AWB*, but the narrow vote marks the first time since the Third Boer War that an explicitly Boer Nationalist party may stand for election in Southern Africa.

ANC, Inkatha Party, and Union Party leadership have all issued statements denouncing the Volkstaat ideology and directing members in the Federal Assembly to withhold support on any piece of legislation authored or sponsored by future Volkstaatist members. The office of President Mandela is reportedly looking into remaining legal measures to limit the electoral success of nationalist movements.

*Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging

[State Bureaucracy]

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

The African National Congress (ANC): The largest single party within the Autonomous Provinces and, arguably, the reason for their existence. The ANC has held a dominant political position in the Provinces for almost a century. The policy positions of mainline ANC politicians often center around African nationalism, and social democratic reforms. More radical members of the party hold diverse opinions including anti-White or anti-Asian sympathies, communist tendencies, or radical republicanism. There have been several purges of party members over such controversies, which usually lead to the formation of new parties opposed to the ANC but unwilling to work with the principal opposition.

Unionists: The main political opposition to the ANC in the Provinces. If the main question in Provincial politics is "to what extent should the provinces be independent", the ANC would answer somewhere between "very" and "entirely". The Unionists by contrast would answer somewhere between "somewhat" and "not at all". Most measures toward re-integrating the Provinces with the rest of the Dominion originate from Unionist politicians but have yet to make significant headway in and provincial legislature.

kwaZulu Inthaka Party (ZIP): A socially and economically conservative Zulu nationalist party, the ZIP was one of the first splinters to break from the ANC for openly promoting independence from the Dominion. The ZIP seeks to maintain the position of the Zulu monarchy and expand its political power, and further extend government authorities to traditional African institutions.

The African People's Party (APP): A decades-brewing merger of nearly every group expelled from the ANC, the APP is the most extremist political party allowed under provincial law. The APP's policy positions are often at odds, claiming both anti-imperialism and supporting resettlement of White South Africans out of the provinces, espousing both anti-capitalism and anti-communism. Some critics of the APP have called them "Black fascists", members describe themselves as "patriotic Africans".

Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB, banned): The largest organization of

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.