When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore.

When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When paternity tests, lead to ratings success, that’s a Maury.

When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

But Canadians protest, underrepresented in jest, what’s one more, eh?

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

(Repost of mine from over a year ago. Sorry. I remembered it while stoned and it was funny again. Credit to u/weizguy74 for the Maury line.)

πŸ‘︎ 452
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2021
🚨︎ report
3 fish walking on the sea floor
  1. fish 1 turns to a nearby restaurant and asks: shell we eat here?
    fish 3 says: is it even good tho?
    fish 1 then says: yeah its good, ive haddock with fish 2 before its a very good plaice.
    fish 2 says: yeah that plaice is good, when i first took a bite of the food, i let out a huge, oh my cod!
    fish 3 says: i trout that tho it seems kinda fishy, arowana eat at this restaurant. halibut that one? i had it with a large grouper before. ive even met the gill of my breams before!
    fish 1 says: oh sure! i dont mind.
    fish 3 says: there is a caviar tho, its very expensive and of-fish-al.
    fish 2 says: oh for heavens hake! you know we dont have the money for that.
    fish 3 says: nah im ballin, i could perch-ace the whole store!
    fish 2 says: in my breams you cod, you take me for a school?! you are bass-lighting me.
    fish 3 says: no, im not bass-lighting you. ive been surfing on this nft hype recently and have made river-bank! keep it as a sea-cret tho.
    fish 2 says: oh, thats surf-prising. how much money have you made?
    fish 3 says: mmm, about a gillion so far. its difficult to start tho, i had to shell all my craw-perty to a shellfish clam at the prawn-shop! but, i took my oppor-tuna-ty and made profit.
    fish 1 says: ughh are you done coral-ling? im starving here!
    fish 2 says: actually, do yall sea the curved metal thing up there? The food on it look delicious, let's crab it.
  2. they all agreed unanimously, but little did they know, a wrasse-ful fisherman was up there,
    waiting for his next meal.
  3. fin
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shangze
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2021
🚨︎ report
It's fuel for a...

So we went to the Westlake Ace hardware store.. and as we were pulling up my 10 y/o daughter sees the Blue Rhino (propane) rack out front..

Daughter: What's Blue Rhino?

Me: It's propane

Daughter: It's COCAINE?!?

Me: No no no, it's fuel for a cooker not fuel for a hooker..

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Volbeater
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My best friend just made a better dad joke than I could ever hope to...

Firstly, it should be noted that she's a total klutz. She's fallen off her longboard and sprained her ankle(s) multiple times in the past few months. So, I was talking to her earlier today as she was walking to Walgreens to pick up an Ace bandage. When I asked why, she said she twisted her ankle walking home from work. I then said "Damn, your ankles can't catch a break, can they?", to which she replied "Well, I think I'd be in more trouble if they did."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roguespectre67
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 687
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.