After mispreparing some guy's caffeinated drink, the barista asked me if I wanted it, on the house, while he remade the order. Of course I accepted.

I am not one to refuse charry tea.

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đź“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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As I lay in bed, looking up at the many thousands of stars in the night sky, I think to myself...

WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?

đź‘Ť︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/itim__office
đź“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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Little Johnny was going door to door asking his neighbors if they needed any yard work done.

When he got to old man Johnson’s house the old man said “My yard doesn’t need any work, but my porch is in need of a coat of paint. I’ll pay you 50 bucks, and if you finish by sundown I’ll throw in a 50 dollar bonus”.

With a confused look on his face little Johnny accepted the offer and got to work.

Less than an hour later little Johnny knocked on old man Johnson’s door to collect his hundred dollars.

“All finished, that’ll be one hundred dollars”!

Noticing there wasn’t a single drop of paint on the porch the old man started quizzing little Johnnys integrity.

“Now little Johnny, are you absolutely positively one hundred percent sure you finished painting my porch”?

“I sure am! Oh and by the way that’s not a porch, it’s a Ferrari”!

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👤︎ u/plmcalli
đź“…︎ May 12 2020
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A buddy fixed the boiler in our new house

He wouldn’t accept any compensation. Called it our house warming gift.

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👤︎ u/hutimuti
đź“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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A guy at a cookout said, "Putting fancy cheese on your hamburger is a woman thing to do."

Me: "Hey, that's not a gouda thing to say."

My soon to be father in law laughed and said, "That was a good one."

It made me feel like a parmanent member of the family.

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👤︎ u/MickCJ
đź“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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