Abiha Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Translated from Iyad al-Tabba’s 1995 work on Imam Suyuti. 1. Asiya bint. Jar Allah al-Tabari (d.873) 2. Amina bint Musa b. Ahmad al-Damhuji (d. circa 860) 3. Bint ‘Abd Allah b. Ali al-Kinani al-Hanbali 4. Bint al-Sharif al-Hasan b. Nasir al-Din 5. Umm al-Khayr bint Yusuf b. Ahmad al-Aqabi 6. Umm al-Khayr bint Yusuf al-Maghribi 7. Umm Hani’ bint Abi al-Qasim b. Ahmad (d.879) 8. Umm Hani’ bint al-Hafidh Taqi al-Din al-Makki 9. Amat al-Khaliq bint Abd –ul- Latif al-Munawi al-Aqabi (d.902) 10. Amat al-‘Aziz bint Muhammad al-Anbabi 11. Taqiyya Umm Rīm Sitt al-Ahal bint Imam Taqiy –ud-Din (d.891) 12. Hanīfa bint Abd al-Rahman al-Qimni 13. Umm Salama Khadija bint Ahmad b. Ali al-Husayni (d. 889) 14. Khadija bint Abd al-Rahman b. Ali al-Hashimi al-Uqayli (d. 870) 15. Khadija bint Ali b. Umar al-Ansari al-Shafi [granddaughter of Ibn al-Mulaqqin] 16. Khadija bint Faraj al-Zayla’i 17. Rajab bint Ahmad b. Muhammad al-Qaliji (d. 869) 18. Ruqayya bint Abd al-Qawiyy b. Muhammad al-Makki (d. 874) 19. Umm al-Khayr Zaynab bint Ibrahim b. Abd Allah al-Shanawihi (d. 879) 20. Umm Habiba Zaynab bint Ahmad b. Hamd al-Makki al-Shuwayki (d. 886) 21. Zaynab bint. Muhammad b. Abd Allah al-Sa’di al-Azhari 22. Sarah bint Muhammad b. Mahmum al-Rab’i al-Balisi 23. Sitt Quraysh Umm AbiHa Fatima bint al-Hafidh Taqi al-Din al-Makki 24. Umm al-Hina Saliha bint Ali b. Umar [granddaughter of Ibn al-Mulaqqin] (d. 876) 25. Safiyya bint Yaqut b. Abd Allah al-Habashi (d. 872) 26. Aisha bint Ahmad al-Ajami 27. Ama’im bint al-Hasan b. Muhammad al-Hasani 28. Fatima bint Ahmad b. Abd Allah 29. Fatima bint Ahmad b. Muhammad al-Shughuri 30. Fatima bint Khalil al-Harastani (d. 873) 31. Fatima bint Ali b. Ahmad al-Yasiri 32. Fatima bint Muhammad b. Abi Bakr al-Maraghi (d. 878) 33. Fatima bint Muhammad b. Yusuf al-Ajami 34. Kamaliyya bint Ahmad b. Muhammad al-Kinani al-Misri (d. Circa 865) 35. Kamaliyya bint Abd Allah b. Muhammad al-Asfahani (d. 898) 36. Kamaliyya bint Muhammad b. Abi Bakr al-Dharuri al-Marjani al-Makki (d. 880) 37. Umm al-Fadl Maryam bint Ahmad b. Uthman Kulutati 38. Umm Hani’ Maryam bint. Ali b. Abd al-Rahman al-Hurini [mother of Allama Sayf al-Din al-Hanafi] (d.871). 39. Umm Abd Allah Nashwan bint Abd Allah al-Asqalani al-Hanbali (d. 880) 40. Umm al-Khayr Hajar bint Ali b. Muhammad al-Halabi 41. Umm al-Fadl Hajar bint Muhammad b. Muhammad (d. 874) 42. Yahab Allah al-Habashiyya bint Imam Taqiyy al-Din al-Makki (d. 881) __if you want to know about their biography, check Is

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob