My 6 year olds just told me this at breakfast. โ€œWhat does a cow with no lips say?โ€

โ€œOoooooooooโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 75
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/YoItsMeAmerica
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13 2022
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The Comcast guy said he would be at my house between 4 and 6,

but he was mean and showed up at 5.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 243
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BigJimSlade77
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 28 2021
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This is from my 6 yo daughter. I know she probably heard it at school so I'm pretty sure it's not an original, but she gets the biggest grin when she delivers the punchline: What does the Gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets! :-)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lodiman77
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 18 2021
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My 6 year old told me this one... "Did you hear about the guy who got sick at a funeral?"....

He was Coffin all morning.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Olaffubbuffalo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 02 2021
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Have you heard about the new RPG where the time is fixed at 6:00 AM?

It has a lot of dawn time.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hurtkopain
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20 2021
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I told my suitcases we're not going anywhere for at least 6 months.

Now I'm stuck here dealing with all this emotional baggage.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 110
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Caleb-the-God
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 07 2021
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6 strands of Kurt Cobainโ€™s hair sold at auction in the last month for $14,000. Youโ€™d think it would have a very musty odor.

But really, it just smells like teen spirit.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shua_mc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 02 2021
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A detective showed up at my house and asked me where I was between 5 & 6

I told him kindergarten

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 119
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23 2021
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True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Etereve
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 28 2020
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So I ask for something easy at a restaurant, and the server recommends โ€œwell the chicken strips for 6$โ€

โ€œMaybe it will but it doesnโ€™t help with my hungerโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/callmemrjackass
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 19 2021
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Bit of a long one but this was 6 years ago i punned at my sister for an hour reddit.com/gallery/k2ad0t
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/adam10boy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27 2020
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How did Mary know baby Jesus was 6 lbs. 3 oz. at birth?

She gave him a weigh in a manger.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CountMC10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 21 2020
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Recent father. Yesterday my wife told me we โ€œwould be having dinner at around 6:30, 7 oโ€™clockโ€

I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hoopsrule44
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2020
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My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.

I really hope he eats his words.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/fordskis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 06 2020
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A cop pulled me over and asked me, โ€œWhere were you at 5-6?โ€

I replied Kindergarten

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 414
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/A1hero
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 04 2019
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My dad called me at 6:30 am today to tell me this. He's in his 50's, I'm 30...

"Good morning, son!"

Hey, Dad, what's up? (Wondering if something bad is up)..

"So, you know why it's never a good idea to get in an argument with your dad?"

(I'm still groggy waking up) Why, Dad?

"Because he already knows all the 'Your Mom' jokes, and you definitely don't want to hear them from him! Ahahahaha!!" /hangs up on me.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/frodohaskids
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 27 2015
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I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!

Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TMCBarnes
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 05 2020
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Why was 6 afraid of 7, because 789. Why did 7 eat nine? Because at the restaurant 7 was at, 9 came in that order.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Anti-vaxxer-hater
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 09 2019
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Why did John Snow stand in line for 6 hours at Apple store?

For the watch!!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/str33techie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 15 2020
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I thought dinner was at 7, not 6...

I guess that was my missedsteak

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ghstmnky
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 06 2019
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Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?

Meat.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Messicanhero
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 07 2019
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Research has shown that 7 out of 6 people are bad at fractions.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/trenton00
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24 2018
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My 6 year old got me at dinner

Me (talking about work): โ€œI just want to get ahead.โ€ Her: โ€œDad, you already have a head.โ€

Brings tears to my eyes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/somethingaboutbeer
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12 2018
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A panic at a disco recently caused 6 deaths...

The dancers did not do a very good job of stayin' alive... but at least it wasn't a disco inferno.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 10 2018
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Dad wanted to wake his son up at 6 am, so he said

Hey son rise.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Carter16891
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 25 2017
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I peaked at 6

We were at church one sunday when someone spilled tea all over my new button down shirt. I immediately asked "What do you think this is, a T-Shirt"?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 78
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mck111
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2013
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I ordered 6 wings for 5 bucks at the strip club last night. Friend knew how to handle this.

Don't you know breasts are 50 cents a piece here?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lunarseed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 22 2015
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