What advice should you give a frog with a stomach ache?
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︎ Aug 09 2022
I have a chronic condition which makes my legs ache.
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︎ Jul 28 2022
My 8 year old daughter made this up today. βWhy did the car have a belly ache?β
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︎ Jan 12 2022
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Donβt go in there! Donβt go in the church, you moron!
She was watching our wedding video again.
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︎ Dec 31 2022
Dad: Iβm having a divorce with your mother
Son: Hi having a divorce with your mother, Iβm son
Dad: No youβre not, thatβs why weβre having a divorce.
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︎ Oct 17 2022
Went to the doctors for a problem with my hearing and an ache in my ear.
Doctor: "Can you describe your symptoms?"
Me: "Marge has blue hair, and homer is a fat guy."
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︎ Nov 25 2021
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?
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︎ Jan 08 2022
What do you call it when a dog is stiff and aches
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︎ Nov 30 2021
My friend Stacy was having a back ache...
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︎ Sep 01 2021
I have stomach pain, and I can't think of a good pun about it.
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︎ Aug 06 2022
No matter how hard I try to line this wallpaper up, itβs always just a hare off.
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︎ Aug 07 2022
Did you hear about the students complaining of aches and fatigue when they did math homework?
They're calling it fibromyalgebra.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
TELL ME WHY? AINT NOTHIN BUT A HEART ACHE
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︎ Jul 07 2019
What do you call a chameleon that can't change color?
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︎ Jan 25 2022
My jaw is aching
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︎ Sep 16 2019
cake ache
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︎ Jan 15 2020
My dog ate an entire box of crayons by himself and got a horrible stomach ache.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
I had a tooth ache.
I also hate the dentist. Weeks went by and each day the pain was worse. My wife was also complaining how bad the smell of my farts were becoming. When I finally went to the dentist she informed me I had an abscessed tooth. Then it all made sense. Abscess makes the fart grow stronger.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
What do spiders take when they get stomach aches?
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︎ Apr 03 2020
What does a T-rex call a back a back ache?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Why did the cowβs stomach ached?
Because there was no more rumen it
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︎ Jul 10 2020
A mustache must ache.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
I woke up this morning with another freakinβ back ache.
I thought to myself, βknot again!β
Explanation (since I guess Iβm supposed to):
The knot in my muscle was the cause of my back pain. Knot/Not.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
I sent my son to a German cooking school camp, but all he got to do is add herbs to sausages.
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︎ Jul 16 2021
My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.
She said she didn't remember.
I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!
She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.
Totally worth it.
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︎ Dec 22 2018
AchEELes
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︎ Mar 14 2018
I recently made a fluffy, delicious European breakfast entree, but when I finished eating it I had a stomach ache.
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Dad hit me with this one after I complained about a shoulder ache.
He tossed me a little bottle of pills and said "take these, they're homeopathic pills for muscle pain. "
I told him, "Dad, I don't do homeopathic stuff."
Dad:"Well once you take these and feel better you can take a girl on a date."
Me:"What does that even mean?"
Dad:"That's called romeo-pathy"
Dear God this joke made the pain worse.
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︎ Jun 18 2016
A man moaned about his aching leg, whilst training for the marathon.
βDonβt worry about itβ his friend said, βitβll be worth it in the long runβ
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︎ Jul 23 2019
A guy I know injured his thumb and his fingers started aching in sympathy the next day.
They were brothers in arm.
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︎ Jun 23 2019
What kind of medicine did the tree take for its aches and pains?
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︎ Feb 22 2019
5yo to me βWhy canβt you take a PokΓ©mon in the shower?β
Because it will Pik-ach-u.
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︎ May 22 2022
Whenever I hear classical music, I get a pain in my spine
Turns out that I have Bach ache
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︎ Jun 15 2022
Why do you get a stomach ache if you swallow toothpaste?
It isnt mint to be swallowed.
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︎ Jul 20 2018
I had a stomach ache
Me: Do you have any antacids?
Dad: No, but I have some uncle-acids!
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︎ Feb 11 2014
Waking up with a tooth ache and a hangover..
Tell my roommate my face hurts because I probably fell off my bed at night. He responds, " did you fall off at tooth-thirty?!?"...
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︎ Sep 03 2014
I went to Canada and my hat hurt to wear.
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︎ Mar 13 2022
Why did the dentist send his patients to the proctologist?
To take care of their toot aches.
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︎ May 30 2022
I went to a restaurant and they wanted a name for the order. I said JG my initials and he asked me to spell that.
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︎ Feb 24 2022
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you do when you have a stomach ache?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
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