A fu Puns

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

He's on a roundhouse kick.

He becomes a skadouchebag

Marital Arts!

Spruce Lee

What do you call a kung fu vegetable? Brock Lee!

(Brock Lee is said like broccoli)

I'd live to know if this is any good because I think this is a original?

How I came up with the joke (if you carrot all): I thought of it while eating broccoli and watching Naruto. (There is a character named Rock Lee and the joke soon came to light)

A ginja.

my sister- "why?"

My dad- "so they can all eat their "toes"! "

My sister- "what? "

My dad- "the fu's toes!"

Me- "toes of fu. Tofu."

My dad laughs at us for not getting it immediately.

His name is Fu Ming.

And it’s fu*king discussing

A master of pun fu

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

Jew Man Chu

So some coworkers were recently discussing what a fu manchu was and it was pointed out that the space under the nose is typically shaved, basically making it an inverted hitler stache

Because they know the art of to-fu!

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, “I no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, “Let’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, “Little Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, “No way José! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, “Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

Kung Fu Man Chew

It is St.Fu.

King kong fu

They know toe-fu

Kid in the class: “oh you lived in Japan, do you know Kung fu?”

Professor: “no. I didn’t know Kung fu, but I knew his brother Harry”

“No but I know a little Kung Fu” used hand motions and everything.

...She picked up a comb during the conversation, looked at her dad and said: "O look dad!" Starts to do random karate moves with this comb "I know COMB FU!"
My husband was so proud...

(I know Kung Fu is Chinese, but close enough for puns)

I want to open an Vietnamese/Italian Restaurant

It'll be called Pho-Geddaboutit (Fu-geddaboutit)

We were watching Family Fued when suddenly:

>Steve: Name a place where a man would wear his best underwear

>Contestant: Church

>Dad: Why wouldn't you want holy underwear at church?

Got up from the table shaking my head letting out a groan

Because a Fu Man Chu!