A Touch of Cloth Puns

A list of puns related to "A Touch of Cloth"

Why should you never change clothes in front of a Pokemon?

They might Pikachu.

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👤︎ u/doctor_boombot
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".

I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".

👍︎ 16k
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👤︎ u/Merlin-5
📅︎ Feb 09 2021
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The wife left me because I have a fetish for touching pasta

Now I’m feeling cannelloni

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👤︎ u/LordCinko
📅︎ May 06 2021
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An explosion happened at a clothing store

There were many casual tees

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👤︎ u/havenotredditt
📅︎ May 02 2021
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I have a good friend who wears clothes made of nothing but carpet.

Walter Wall.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey
📅︎ Jan 28 2021
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when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory

It was rough.

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👤︎ u/Kinkybenny
📅︎ Dec 24 2020
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What do you call a short mother with no clothes on?

Bare minimum

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/bobzilladoesandroid
📅︎ May 14 2021
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My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 21 2020
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I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

👍︎ 35
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Dec 07 2020
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What do you call a surprise clothing launch?

A drip drop

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/batyablueberry
📅︎ May 02 2021
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One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.

I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/MostWheatyOne
📅︎ Jan 07 2021
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Walked past a pallet of nacho cheese at Costco today. Looked my daughter in the eye and said, “Dylan, don’t touch”

Natcho-cheese.

I try.

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👤︎ u/PMme_slave_leia_pics
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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Best piece of clothing I own!
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👤︎ u/CeruleanMasquerade
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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If a speck of colour on your clothes is called a stain,

Is paintball a form of Enterstainment?

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/nimmalt
📅︎ Jul 27 2020
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First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.

He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/GoodWillPower
📅︎ Mar 27 2021
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Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?

Because they are made of satin

Ba-dum-tssss

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👤︎ u/thegoldchicken
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
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What kind of clothing do piglets get?

Ham me downs.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/oppy1984
📅︎ Mar 16 2021
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What do you call a wolf in sheep’s clothing?

A woolf

👍︎ 48
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👤︎ u/reddit_test_team
📅︎ Jan 31 2021
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10 years ago I promised to myself not to touch a drop of drink while I'm at work.

I haven't touched a job since.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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What is a electricians least favourite peace of clothing?

Shorts

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/The-Lazy-Lemur
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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A man walks in to a bar with a piece of asphalt

The man says to the bartender “1 for me, and 1 for the road”

👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/Successful_Blood_681
📅︎ May 17 2021
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I saw a pack of gummy worms that said “No artificial flavor.”

Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/pllarsen
📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

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👤︎ u/unic0rnism
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

👍︎ 16k
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👤︎ u/jewyouevenlift
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/hawkeye45_
📅︎ Apr 25 2021
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What’s a desserts favorite piece of clothing?

FLANnel

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👤︎ u/Crushedgoose
📅︎ Nov 22 2020
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A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes

He says he likes shooting fish in apparel

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👤︎ u/StAnger99
📅︎ Aug 30 2020
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The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.

Because Lisa Kudrow.

👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 13 2021
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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Does anyone know how to get stains out of cloth diapers?

We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.

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👤︎ u/lan_mcdo
📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/potato_patataa
📅︎ Apr 20 2021
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A touching conversation
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👤︎ u/LazyYoda
📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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There's a gang going through the shops in our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.

The Police believe they’re still at large.

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👤︎ u/cheifsup
📅︎ Feb 17 2021
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Man walks into a shop and picks up a can of bug spray

The man asks "is this good for wasps?"

The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/DemonDoorknob
📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,

"You've broken your hand."

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👤︎ u/timthedriller
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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Why would everything be different without a sense of touch?

Because we wouldn’t know how to feel

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/Vinyl_Vey
📅︎ Sep 16 2020
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What do you call a group of deaf people?

I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/BowelMovementator
📅︎ Apr 02 2021
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My girlfriend is a square root of -100

Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/NotoriousHothead37
📅︎ Mar 27 2021
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A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.

He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 18 2021
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I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

👍︎ 61
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 29 2021
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

👍︎ 14k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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