Me to my teen age daughter in the grocery store while I hold a melon.

β€œYou cantaloupe! Your too young”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FroshPresident
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Taking to my teen daughter Nd asked if she wanted a cantaloupe. She said no and I asked if she wanted a can-aloupe...

She replied yes I think people should be allowed to get married however they want. So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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There was a post about a teen holding his own heart in his hands after a heart transplant, I thought these comments belonged here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FireNationed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What is it called when a teen has a baby?

Aparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaydenbryant06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I know it's a public health thing ... still getting pretty tired of this Korn teen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gotyememesplz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do you call a teen that can do anything?

A canteen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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If a adolescent male is a Teen-ager then

A adult male is a Man-ager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rampant_Ranger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?

Oh shit, my boomerang!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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I was out playing Pokemon with my fiance when I approached a group of teens with their phones out. "Hey, I'm looking for my friend Amal..."

"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him." "No, sorry man." "Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."

My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BriansBalloons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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What do you call the ghost of a hyperactive teen?

An adolescent Adderall essence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_kibble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to

On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, there’s a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...

After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, there’s an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...

Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.

Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But there’s a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...

At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....

There’s no punch line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strikercharge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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I think the biggest reason teen pregnancies get such a bad rap

is because it's so much harder to give birth to a teenager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaChameleon306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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There’s a new Apple device that’s out to help teens cope with Dad jokes.

Its called the iRoll with a companion download for adults called the Groan app.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.

Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What's a chemist's favorite 80s teen comedy film?

Ferrous Bueller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gkmagid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Did you hear about the teens who broke into the San Diego Zoo and attacked a large sea cow?

They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcthe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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My dad used to tell me jokes when I was a teen. When he stopped, I reluctantly asked him why.

He said, "Well son, you don't need to. You've already groaned up in the past years."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTGDG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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I've written a play about a troubled teen who gets drunk on mexican beer and blinds a bunch of horses. It's called . . . .

Dos Equus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxMike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2012
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There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.

They can call it "Genital Hospital".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfComm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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Not so much a joke as much as it is fatherly appreciation. Throwback from my teens
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toobroketobitch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2016
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What kind of fruit does a teen age girl whose father sits out side her bedroom door with a loaded shotgun eat?

cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crsbeatz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
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Im a teen dad now.

In my class there was an assignment where you had to bring an item to represent yourself.

A student did a speech on how a cake represented her.

After the speech, i said, " well that speech really took the cake"

The teacher was the only one to laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thomasroberts72
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2015
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