There was a post about a teen holding his own heart in his hands after a heart transplant, I thought these comments belonged here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FireNationed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What is it called when a teen has a baby?

Aparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaydenbryant06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....

She’s now my quaranteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikey6156
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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I know it's a public health thing ... still getting pretty tired of this Korn teen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gotyememesplz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Singer of Smells Like Teen Spirit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkathion890
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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My teen daughter was complaining about life under β€œSafer at home”. β€œI can’t see my friends, there’s literally nothing to do that’s not online. Even my classes are online!”

I said, β€œOK, Zoomer.β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What does your teen daughters wardrobe have in common with trying to post memes without watermarks?

You hope to avoid crop tops and cutoffs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisADHD
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What do you call a teen that can do anything?

A canteen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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If a adolescent male is a Teen-ager then

A adult male is a Man-ager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rampant_Ranger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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What do australian teens say, when they miss a call from their grandmother?

Oh shit, my boomerang!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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What do balding guys and teen beards have in common?

Every hair counts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/otoglomba
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Two underwater teens fell in love

That’s the day the mermaid realized women and seamen don’t mix

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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What do you call the ghost of a hyperactive teen?

An adolescent Adderall essence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_kibble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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I was out playing Pokemon with my fiance when I approached a group of teens with their phones out. "Hey, I'm looking for my friend Amal..."

"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him." "No, sorry man." "Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."

My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BriansBalloons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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Why is the sexually confused teen so bad at parking?

She can’t tell if she’s straight or not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrandedRipper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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My problematic teen kid just fled across the border

He really crossed the line this time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/otoglomba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Do you guys know which album Smells Like Teen Spirit was on?

wait I got it, nevermind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to

On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, there’s a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...

After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, there’s an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...

Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.

Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But there’s a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...

At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....

There’s no punch line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strikercharge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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I told my teen daughter to invite all the boys she texts over for Thanksgiving...

We're gonna call it a Friends-zone-giving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazySumo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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I could never appreciate children between the ages of 13 and 19. Then, I added macro-nutrients made of amino acids to my diet. Now, I am pro-teen!

A dad joke original from my dad!!!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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I think the biggest reason teen pregnancies get such a bad rap

is because it's so much harder to give birth to a teenager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaChameleon306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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There’s a new Apple device that’s out to help teens cope with Dad jokes.

Its called the iRoll with a companion download for adults called the Groan app.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.

Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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It is so cold in Chicago today that teens are pulling up their own pants.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tayloed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Teens these days always forget to practice safe eating

Always use condiments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hujibanation
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Watching the weatherman give the forecast and he says we'll probably see some teens late tonight and I said

They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zulubowie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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NEWS reporter β€œAustralian border security caught teens trying to import 400 million dollars worth of ice”

Dad β€œif I knew ice was worth that much I’d put more in the fridge”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imakehamforalivin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Salt Lake City is concerned that too many teens are rebelling by going "Goth"

Mormon Emo Problems

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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What's a chemist's favorite 80s teen comedy film?

Ferrous Bueller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gkmagid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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My dad used to tell me jokes when I was a teen. When he stopped, I reluctantly asked him why.

He said, "Well son, you don't need to. You've already groaned up in the past years."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTGDG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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Did you hear about the teens who broke into the San Diego Zoo and attacked a large sea cow?

They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcthe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2016
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Just got me teen daughter

Her: I'm surprised Zhanna didn't wake up. I guess she is a heavier sleeper.

Me: Hmmmm, no. I think you weigh about the same.

Cue eye roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ponczy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2015
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There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.

They can call it "Genital Hospital".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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I've written a play about a troubled teen who gets drunk on mexican beer and blinds a bunch of horses. It's called . . . .

Dos Equus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxMike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2012
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Ended an endless teen conversation

My daughter who is 15 was hanging out with one of her friends. They were having a typical teenage conversation over which is better turkey or chicken. After a good 5 minutes of "Turkey.. No chicken... No turkey!" I interjected and said "You know what... I think your conversation is pretty fowl". It was a very proud period of silence after that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxdiety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfComm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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What is an alcoholic teen mom's least favorite spice?

Cardamom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revjor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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What kind of fruit does a teen age girl whose father sits out side her bedroom door with a loaded shotgun eat?

cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crsbeatz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
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Not so much a joke as much as it is fatherly appreciation. Throwback from my teens
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toobroketobitch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2016
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Im a teen dad now.

In my class there was an assignment where you had to bring an item to represent yourself.

A student did a speech on how a cake represented her.

After the speech, i said, " well that speech really took the cake"

The teacher was the only one to laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thomasroberts72
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2015
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I got my pre-teen daughter just now

She's showing me this toy of Iago from Aladdin. he has a hole in the bottom of him so he sits on Jafar's shoulder. She said "Jafar has this thing on his shoulder so that Iago that can sit"

"So what you're saying is that Jafar' has a real chip on his shoulder"

She rolled her eyes at me and didn't respond. Which is a real accomplishment!

Edit: now she's mad at me, because I'm wrong. because it's "not a chip" Classic pre-teen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obievil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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