There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a spouse in a different nation.

The Imagination

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manggg1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œNation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research” I guess those geologists are a bunch of Stoners.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.

It was Aftcannonstan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7stringGriffle
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What was Oman called before it officially become a nation?

Oboy

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctureas
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
i have a girlfriend from another nation? do you know where she's from?

my imagiNATION

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenkenthepro06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys

The leader donkey got shot and killed.

Ass-as-a-nation

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
without the washington monument america would be a pointless nation
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swoswald
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Worth a donation from the nation v.redd.it/4uwutlzji5g11
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ssunnlee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The king of a small African nation...

The king of a small African nation had an elegant golden throne in his large grass hut. When an old friend came to visit from another nation, he was worried that the man would discover he was a king and treat him differently. He searched frantically for a place to hide the throne, but to no avail. Finally, he decided to have it wedged up in the ceiling of his hut.

When his friend arrived, he went to the hut's opening to greet him. Just then, the ceiling started to give way, and the golden throne fell on the king and killed him.

The moral of the story is this: People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna start a new Muslim nation

I'll call it the Islamic Republic of Marijuana. So no matter what, the citizens there will get stoned.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a world's sleepiest nation?

Hibernation.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niss7271
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Drugstores across the nation are reporting a shortage of plasters for cuts and grazes.

Manufacturers are determined to find a band-aid solution.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty085
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a house in a South American nation, but the weather seems odd.

Even in the summer, its still Chile outside.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nation of Vampires?

The Vempire.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rokobex
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Urine-nation would be a great name for urinal installation company
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How can there be a national coin shortage?

Makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 577
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_live_in_a_truck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend the pirate was a national boxing champion.

He had a deadly right hook.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
This tasty plant wasn't just a big dill, it was the National Anethum
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What a sexist society we live in, today is National Daughter's Day and it's celebrated once a year.....

But we celebrate Son day every week!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A national coin shortage must provide some much needed relief for people who don’t like change.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeepinmama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Allegedly there’s a national coin shortage

I asked someone to explain it to me and they didn’t make cents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The national coin shortage is a problem that we can solve if we all...

Be the change that we wanna see.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What kinds of countries do soft drink companies make?

Carbo Nations!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
We need to add PR, DC, and Guam, as states.

53 is a prime number. Then we can truly be one nation, indivisible.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubNationAssemble
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
We went to a national park yesterday and they told us at the gate that there's no drug or alcohol in the park

I told them that it was ok, we brought our own.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mesoposty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she had to pee while I was mid stream.

I told her to join the club.

It's called Urine-Nation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnforcerBiggin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I once visited a country where a lot of people were called Yuri and it stank of pee.

It must have been the Yuri-nation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A few years ago me and my girlfriend were at a popular sunrise view point very high up in a national park in Thailand...

She asked, "is this the highest point in Thailand?"

I replied, "i don't know, it's up there".

The glances exchanged in that moment were some of my fondest memories of that trip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryChopper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
This was a National Geographic Cover
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenlechat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...

But it only works one weekend out of the month.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesmazingj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Question

Why is today not National ballerina day?

I mean it is 2-2 after all

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taterheadx2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits...

He loves being in the limelight.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time posting on my cake day!

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Poleish

Merry Christmas!!!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nbudri
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched a program on National Geographic, where they showed a huge plant which had grown papers instead of leaves.

It was a document-tree.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a big fan of the national flag of Switzerland

For me it's a huge plus!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matc7884
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy who won’t stand for the National Anthem?

Neil.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macauley_Sulkin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece

Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a baseball game singing the National Anthem, when a friend leaned over and asked, "What are ramparts?"

I told him "oh you know... horns... hooves..."

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjasper123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a department of United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a new type of broom out

Its sweeping the nation and the competition

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom?

That really swept the nation.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a new type of broom out

it’s sweeping the nation.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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