A Horse Walks into a Bar Puns

The horse, not being able to comprehend human language, promptly shits on the floor and leaves.

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

And gets kicked out, horses can't be in bars.

The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"

The barman says what's it with the long face

But not the duck. He saw it.

He's panting like he'd just been for a run

Asks for a drink

Bartender asks what he was up to, why's he so out of breath?

Horse says "I was trying to get out of the Reins"

Bartender said to the horse , what’s with the long face.

I must have herd that 1,000,000 times as a kid never got old.

The barman says 'y, the long face'

The barkeep says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic"

The horse replies, "I don't think I am," and vanishes from existence. See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'l think; therefore, I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

The bartender says, "hey."

The horse says, "neigh. But I'll take some Quick Oats for the road."

The asphalt in the corner says, "thanks."

The bartender said “Hey”, then the horse “you read my mind buddy.”

The bartender eventually asks if the horse wants a drink.

The horse says "Neigh"

The horse says, "can't you see my long face? Yeah, I was born that way. Kinda depressing. Which is why I invited my friend, Pony for drinks. He'll be here briefly. I'll be ordering for hi because he's just a little horse. But I think he'll pony up for the check finally."

Several people leave immediately due to the hazard of a horse being in a bar.

That’s gonna be a ten-point deduction

"Holy shit, a talking horse!"

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants a beer. The horse goes "neigh." So the bartender kicks him out for wasting space, and on top of it, horsing around. 30 minutes later, a donkey comes in, orders the most expensive drink and a round for the house. When it comes time to pay the tab, the donkey says, "oh, by the way, you kicked out my husband, a horse, earlier," then walks out without paying. The bartender was upset, but knew he'd serve the occasional horse's ass.

Donkey starts speaking to the horse, “So what do you do?”

“Oh in the summer I do racing and in the winter I do the showjumping.” says the horse.

Donkeys thinking, holy shit, this is a thoroughbred.

“What do you do?” Asks the horse.

All embarrassed the donkey says “oh... uh... well in the summer I give rides to kids at the beach”

They chat a bit more and arrange to go round the donkey's house for drinks next week. Donkey's thinking to himself he’s got to come up with some way to impress the thoroughbred. So he gets a picture of a Zebra, a nice frame and hangs it up.

Horse comes round and goes “Oh this is a nice house you’ve got, that’s a nice picture too”

Donkey says “Oh aye, that’s when I played for Juventus”

the bartender looks at him and says "Hey.... why the long face?" The horse looks back at him and solemnly says "My uncle elmer died...". The bartender replies "I'm sorry for your loss..." the horse sighs and says "Yea...He really held the family together"

Thats minus 4 points for his show jumping score

"one caber-neigh, pppfffpplease"

The horse not being able to comprehend the language shits on the floor and leaves

The bartender says, "Hey". The horse replies, "Sure".

...Bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

The horse replies, “My alcoholism is destroying my family.”

The bartender says "Hey."

The horse says "Sure."

The horse replies "My alcoholism is destroying my family..."

The bartender says "hey" . . The horse replies "sure"

The bartender says, “hey.” The horse replies, “yes please.”

The horse says "Sure."

The bartender says "Hey!" Then the horse replies "Sounds good!"

The bartender says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind!"

The bartender says. 'Hey, why the long face?'

Hay. Why the long face?

... the bartender says, "hey, why the long face?"