8 Letters Puns

H to O

I was Clueless

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

The letter f

....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.

A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "

The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

Letter rip

Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.

would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?

There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.

The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."

“Santa: you’ve been around since the 4th century, seen alphabets and languages rise and fall. Do you have a favorite letter?”

Claus thinks about it, scratches his thick white beard and says: “A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

“Well Santa, I just asked for one. What does that mean?”

“And I gave you one! My favorite letter of the alphabet is the most Christmasy one out there! No-L!”

today i tripped and fell down

and my face hit the letter E on a sewer drain cover

and then the police came and charged me with felony

Talking to my 3 year old son the other day:

Me: Do you know your letters?

Son: Yes

Me: Can you say the alphabet?

Son: The alphabet

My wife and I were cracking up.

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

• I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

I replied, “No way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!”

They're a letter apart.

We're sitting around having dinner, and my wife isn't feeling great about the cooking. My daughter (6) starts critiquing the sauce, talking about what she doesn't like. I told her that sometime you have to read the room and see whether people want their cooking criticized.

She looks at me and says "Dad, you can't read a room if there are no letters in it" and starts giggling.

The letter ‘b’.

She said I missed out the letters, U R A Q T, I responded with “thanks!”

DAD: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
SON: Envelope.

Password must contain a letter: '123456𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒮𝑜𝓃, 𝐼𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝑒𝓁𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝑔𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈, 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑜𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉! 𝒴𝑒𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝒸𝒽 𝓌𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓃𝓎, 𝒶 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒶, 𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉 𝓅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓅. 𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈𝑔𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒. 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒟𝒶𝒹'

"What is the second letter of the alphabet?" The teacher asked Ringo. But Ringo wasn't sure.

But because Ringo had found himself in a time of trouble, John came to him and whispered words of wisdom

"Letter B"

He said, "I gotta P" I assumed he meant piss but he pulled out a Piece of paper that had the letter P on it and handed to me Then he said, "Now you gotta P"

I'm still laughing

Edit: he did this and in front of my family and made me laugh my ass off

I only learned my letters up to quueeuuee

I told him they were the letters of recommendation.

A chef entered his kitchen one day struggling with holding onto a large pumpkin. He noticed three male sheep standing next to his oven. One of them had a collar on him with the letter “A” written on it. The second had a collar with “B” and the third had “C.” The chef didn’t know what to do with the sheep, and they were standing in front of the only place he could put the pumpkin down. He put the pumpkin on the first sheep’s head and nothing happened. He then put it on the second sheep’s head and again, nothing happened. He then put it on the third sheep’s head, and immediately the sheep started cooking a gourmet meal and swearing at anyone who passed by him.

That’s what happens when you put a gourd on ram C in the kitchen.

Because the rest of the letters were not-E.

Count the letters. What has 4, longer has 6.

One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.

So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".

Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.

…the other four letters?

The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.

The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.

This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...

I call it LETTER RIP

Letter B

I call it Letter Rip.

The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.

Ends with an E and only has one letter in it?

>!Envelope!<

Now they are sending me threatening letters

I call it "Letter Rip."

Smiles.

The first and last letters are miles apart.