6 Step Puns

Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."

Mee: "You are not coming in."

Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"

The lumberjack stepped back and said, "really? well, you'll die a log."

Step 1 Step 2 Step 3

Step 6

Step 11

Step 16 Floor

This happened today and my son hated it, but it got a great laugh from my wife.

We were talking at lunch today and I asked my son how he felt being taller than his dad now. He said "I don't know". Just like a teenager would.

I told him in full dad joke mode that I was afraid he would be looking down on me now. He then said if you feel that way I will get you a step ladder. I said "that would work but then I would be your step dad!"

You might step in a poodle!

(from my 70 year old uncle)

That sounds ...like a big step.

Steps were taken.

(my first attempt, please have mercy)

Cop: Sir I need you to blow in this breathalyzer.
Driver: I can't, I'm an asthmatic

Cop: Then I need to do a blood draw.
Driver: I can't, I'm an hemophiliac

Cop: then I need to ask you to step out of the vehicle and walk in a straight line
Driver: I can't, I'm drunk.

Ok, I leave now....

This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".

I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.

I didn't relate to it.

Hey, I guess you could say it was a step dad joke.

On more than one level.

If you have ever put together a new BBQ, you know how bad the instructions can be. Yesterday, my wife and I struggled through the horrible task. When we finally figured out the last complicated step, I exclaimed “Yes! Now we’re cooking with gas.”
She actually smiled at that one, which is rare when I make Dad jokes.

I told her, " The escalator is just like an elevator but with extra steps."

So a Ute pulls into work with a massive turkey on the back in a cage. When the driver steps out to make their purchase I say: “I don’t know what you’re feeding that dog but he looks terrible!”

She didn’t even give me a courtesy laugh.

I'll have to take careful steps to avoid them.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

I’ve started taking steps to avoid them

Step one Step two Step three Etc.

It's a step by step guide.

the other one is my step-ladder..

So I take steps to avoid them

On my first day of being an army recruit, we were all lined up and the instructor commanded that those 6 feet and over step forward. Even though I was shy of ½inch, I stepped forward, along with 15 others.

. After I looked around me, I realized I was noticeably the tallest.

At first he took one step and then stopped. Then he took three steps and then stopped. He kept increasing his steps this way along the sidewalk when I thought to myself, “That’s an odd way of walking.”

I guess I’ll take it one step at a time.

My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.

Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.

At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!

...so I take steps to avoid them.

I never knew my real ladder, but my step ladder raised me.

Step 1: get a hunting license.

I said, “That...sounds like a big step.”

So, steps will have to be taken.

It's one small step for Nan....

I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.

Everyone steps in poodles.

“That just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”

Step 28

Step 27

Step 24

Step 21

Step 16

Step 12

Step 7

Step 3

Step 1

Try not to step in a poodle!

It's a step by step guide.

Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 6 Step 9...

I will start taking steps to avoid them

Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 ....

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 9 :

Step 17:

Step 36:

Floor

Which is why I take steps to avoid them

When you have to step over the poodles

But I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.

So I've taken steps to avoid them.

It's a step by step guide

I almost stepped in a poodle.