6 Underground Puns

...a yellow belly, a red back, lives underground, and eats rocks?

A Three Legged Yellow Bellied Red Back Rock Eater!

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.

I know he means well.

Digging giant tunnels underground.

So I told him to try and get on an underground train during rush hour.

They both live underground except for the eagle

it was a real underground operation.

I remember years ago when in my remote town in Alaska there were 10 men stuck underground. I don't recall the circumstances that got them into this situation but it was clear that if they didn't get out soon they weren't going to make it.

All of our local rescue and public services were unable to get them out and they were running out of time. With only 18 hours remaining they sent for the only expert who could help, a rescue operations legend Mr. Puh. If he could get a plane into town it could make all the difference.

I remember gathering around the radio, biting our nails, as weather conditions worsened and threatened the planes journey.

I don't remember how long I stayed awake that night, but I will never forget the words I heard when I turned the radio on in the morning: "Puh not in, ten dead."

Probably not, it's pretty underground.

Us watching the news cast telling us they were rescued.

Dad: “Wow that’s crazy. And even after that long ordeal they still can’t have any alcohol to celebrate.”

Me: (Wondering if it had to do medically with the length of time they were underground or the extreme depth.) “Really? Why?”

Dad: “Because they are still miners”

He said he liked it before it was cool. I gave him some well water and he liked it because it was so underground.

My dad: So there's this family of moles, who live underground of course. The mother mole comes out of their hole and says, "Oh, it smells like syrup out here." Then the father mole comes out behind her and says, "I think it smells like honey." Then their son comes out behind both of them, but he couldn't fit out of the hole, and he says, "Well to me it smells like molasses!"

"This review says they have the best underground house music in all of Miami"

Dad: "Is that called the foundation?"

I was getting ready to leave the house and my daughter wanted a ride somewhere and was taking her sweet ass time. I told her, "this trains a leavin', Hurriet Upman." She's in the sixth grade, so I don't think they've taught her about the underground railroad yet, but I lost my shit. Damn, I love being a dad.

I have a theory

That you must tell no one,

About the way

That dads make a pun.

It all starts out

With an underground meeting:

7:30 on Mondays,

With limited seating.

They talk and converse

To say their new jokes,

Like

"I'm all out of whites,

But got plenty of yokes!"

From there they spread

To dads far and wide,

For use on their kids,

All mercy aside.

There's no way to stop it,

Believe me, I've tried.

The only thing that can help

Is to plug your ears, and hide.

Most be hard too hear it if it's underground

Beets, they were listening to them when they were still underground.

Through the underground whale road

My son commented on a sign that said "Lavatory" instead of "Restroom".

I said "So, if a Lavatory is underground, does that make is a Magmatory?"

Eyerolls from the boy, but my wife laughed, so I got that going for me.

Vodka…Vodka…Vodka…Vodka Long ago, the 4 dictatorships lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Mao Nation Attacked. Only the Stalin, master of the four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished (to his underground bunker filled with bottles of vodka). A hundred years past and my fellow AP Euro students discovered the new Leader, a vodka master named Stalin. And although his vodka is great, he still has a lot to chug before he’s ready to out drink anyone. But I believe Stalin can drink it all.

So we're heading into the underground station on a downwards escalator after work.

Me: Hey guys, escalators go up right? Them: Uh... Yeah... Me: So this downwards one, would it be a de-escalator? -Insert groans and shaking heads-

We live in a building with 2 levels of underground parking.

"I like parking on the first floor because the second floor is beneath me."

Today over supper, we were talking about a cemetery nearby which was recently discovered to contain centuries-old tombstones buried along with the corpses underground. I found this to be strange since typically the tombstones are above ground. During the conversation, this happened:

Me: "Why did they bury them?"

Dad: "Because they were dead!"

... the tombstones dad.

Dad: one day you and I will be under there. Me: dead? Dad: no, searching for the gold underground :)