In 30 min, the Christmas Island and Samoa will welcome the new year.
For them, hindsight is 2020
I should've gone to bed at least 30 minutes ago...
But I suppose everybody's hindsight is 2020.
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
Its 1:30 and im drunk, thought this was comical
What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed
What do you call a furniture store that isover 30 km away?
Recent father. Yesterday my wife told me we “would be having dinner at around 6:30, 7 o’clock”
I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?
10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 walked into a bar
My son asked we to pay for his rifle test today. It was $30.
After 30 years of marriage, I can both proudly and firmly declare that I still wear the pants in my family...
My wife just tells me which ones to wear.
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
I took my wife to an orchard for her birthday and we stood there looking at the trees for about 30 minutes
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
I give myself 30 minutes in my daily schedule to do abs.
I call that time period Crunch Time.
Did you guys hear about the microbiologist who traveled to 30 countries and speaks 6 languages?
He was a wise man of many cultures.
They say that 40 is the new 30
Kent traffic police beg to differ...
I book all my dental appointments for 2:30...
So I can tell the receptionist that I've arrived... for my tooth hurty...
I'm so sorry..
A stone thrown into a pond in 1990 has been wet for around 30 years.
A couple on 60 years met a genie and they got 1 wish each The wife wished she’d travel the world so she did. The husband wanted a 30 years younger wife
Started to learn to tell time on a analog clock last week. So far I can only tell when it’s 6:30
But I got that one hands down.
Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds
Anyhow today I lost my job at the aquarium
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee...
But no. I was charged $30 a pop.
What happened when 30 got hungry?
Why did the sheep dog bring home 30 sheep, when there were only 26?
Because he rounded them up!
I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days
He's on a roundhouse kick.
Did you know my dad drive a truck for 30 years?
He was bad with directions.
I lost 30 pounds in a week...
I really hate losing money.
Someone recently told me being $30,000 dollars in credit card debt was a bad thing.
If it is such a bad thing, why does my bank say "outstanding balance" below it?
Did you hear about the Franciscan Friar who inherited 30 million dollars?
A girl I met online thought February had 30 days.
It must be hard for her to date.
The election is happening in November and Trump will be bragging about the 30 foot wall he built on the Mexican border.
But he probably should have made it much longer than that.
A man walks into a hospital, he says to the receptionist, “I have an appointment at 1:30.” She replies, “Which doctor?”...
The man says “no thanks, just a regular doctor please”
[On an aeroplane] Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet in the air.
Me, to my wife: Holy cow! There’s no way this plane has 15,000 people!
For over 30,000 years humans gave each other social "likes" by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.
I guess you might call them emu-jis.
My favorite time of the day is 6:30
6:30 is the best time of day...
6:30 is the best time on a clock
6:30 is the best time of the day.
The best time on an analogue watch is 6:30
6:30 is the best time on the clock
6:30 is my favorite time. Hands down.
My favorite time of the day is 6:30
6:30 is my favorite time of the day
The best time on the clock is 6:30.
6:30 is the best time of day.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
6:30 is the best time on a clock.
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