MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"
GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"
GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"
They made us play against Trinidad AND Tobago
So I called it FIFA Faux Pho.
My mom saw a player that was particularly androgynous and asked my father "Is she transgender? She looked like Caitlyn Jenner."
My father, without taking his eyes off the game responded "No, she's trans-jenner."
It seems like there isn’t any Germanymore.
And my 9 yr old little brother's trying to learn the players' names and after he's told Ashley Young's name, he goes:
"what about when he's seventy? Will he be Ashley Old?"
I'm proud.
Not because I enjoy soccer. I’m just doing it for the kicks.
Need to take a sick day, Woke up with a fifa and think its because of too much russian around.
They aren't the best teams but their flags are a huge plus.
https://i.imgur.com/vrsdL2Y.png
Is Owen. Ans really who is that guy? All i know is that so far i have hear Owen goal for 5 different teams
During the pre-game, when showing the teams about to compete:
>Dad: Oh man, those guys are gonna be slip-slidin' all over the place!
>Me: Why? Is it raining?
>Dad: No, its Greece.
goddammit
I texted my 13 year old nephew about tonight USA v. Ghana game.
"Do you think we're Ghana win?"
"Are they ghana give us a chance?"
He was not amused.
Lionel Messi had just scored and my dad didn't know who it was so my brother said "Wow that was Messi Dad." to which my dad responded "I don't know, I thought it was pretty clean"
Watching a Football/Soccer game with England playing.
The camera pans to a close up of a girl wearing sunglasses with the England flag for lenses.
(England flag: http://imgur.com/mcK3A0v)
Dad: "She's a bit cross eyed. Such a shame."
I stare at him briefly for 2 seconds, then back at the screen.
We were watching the Germany-Portugal game yesterday. At some point, one of the Germans tries to score but misses.
Sister: "Damn, that was close."
Me: "No, that was Müller, Klose is on the bench."
[18/6 21:05] Toddy: Chile are just too hot to handle [18/6 21:05] Toddy: Sorry
"I guess Germany is scoring brazilians of goals"
They ran and ran and ran!
I wonder if the other team is ever Ghana score.
While watching the Spain - Holland match at the world cup, my dad dropped this...
Dad: What game is on next?
Me: Chile Australia.
Dad: Not it's not.
Me: What?
Dad: It's warm in Australia not chilly.
Me: sigh.
Have faith! We are ghana win!
She asked me where I put it and I pointed to the table. She says what? Where? I point to the new worlds best dad mug on the table and say " D cup is right here mon"
Im not funny im sorry i tried
He was talking to his wife about it and his wife admonished him, saying "It's all that sitting around you do!". After some thought, the man took to the internet and posted all the seats in the house for sale on craigslist and similar sites. He posted the loveseat, the couch, their barstools, everything. It all sold pretty quickly, and once the last piece was gone, he proudly showed his wife what he'd done. Upset and dismayed at what he'd done, she turned to him tearfully and asked, "Did you find your inner peace now?!" He smiled and cupped her face in his hands, looking her in the eyes, and said,
"Hon, I've got not a chair in the world!"
There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himself a gig of selling old newspapers. He would go through garbage cans to find old papers and would sell them to people in the poorer part of town. He makes slightly more spare change, but not really enough to live a better life. In his spare time, which he had plenty, he decides to start free diving in the bay. He goes there each day, and started to get really good at it. One day, an owner of a Circus spots him diving and is amazed at how good he is. He decides to offer Ivan a job at his circus doing performance diving. Ivan eagerly accepts and begins his career as a circus member performing amazing high jumps into really small containers of water. After a few months of doing this he suggests to the owner one amazing jump to wow everyone and put his circus on top of the entertainment world. The owner contemplates this and eventually agrees. He rents a ship much like the one Ivan arrived in and placed the smallest container yet. The radio and tv crews, journalist all arrive to spectate the event of a lifetime. The hour arrives and Ivan begins his climb up a massive lighthouse on the edge of the cliff, and the ship is positioned into place beneath him. Ivan is very nervous but decides it's go time, and jumps from the massive lighthouse. As Ivan falls, he takes perfect form heading straight towards his target. As he dives a sudden wave pushes the ship ever slightly throwing off the careful alignment. Ivan hits the deck and goes straight through the top of the ship. The spectato
... keep reading on reddit ➡I think they would make a great addition to my world cups and super bowls.
