What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
ποΈ 8k
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οΈ Feb 21 2021
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
ποΈ 9k
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οΈ Jan 21 2021
2 is the only prime number that is even.
ποΈ 44
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οΈ Apr 24 2021
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. Whatβs left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
ποΈ 484
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οΈ Mar 13 2021
When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
ποΈ 48
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οΈ Apr 05 2021
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
ποΈ 2k
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οΈ Feb 08 2021
Wife: "My Gynecologist says I can't have sex for 2 weeks."
Husband: "What did the Dentist say?"
ποΈ 78
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οΈ Apr 02 2021
2 dogs walked in a bar...
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Apr 17 2021
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
If it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan...
ποΈ 124
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οΈ Mar 22 2021
Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
ποΈ 44
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οΈ Apr 14 2021
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
ποΈ 14k
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οΈ Dec 15 2020
2 silk worms had a race....
.....they ended up in a tie.
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Apr 21 2021
What is 2 eggs in France?
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Mar 24 2021
Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
ποΈ 16
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οΈ Apr 16 2021
Why did the Roman Soldiers have to crucify Jesus 6ft away from the 2 thieves?
...to prevent cross-contamination.
Happy Easter.
ποΈ 93
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οΈ Apr 04 2021
Re-watching Hot Shots 2, just noticed this jem
ποΈ 59
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οΈ Apr 05 2021
A hitman named Arti was so broke he took a job for $5 and strangled 2 people at the grocery store
The next day the newspaper read "Arti chokes two for $5 at the supermarket"
ποΈ 110
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οΈ Mar 22 2021
Did you hear about the 2 owls?
They're in cahoots with each other.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 18 2021
I have 2 fish named βoneβ and the other βtwoβ
That way when βoneβ dies i will still have βtwoβ
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Apr 22 2021
I made a pencil with 2 erasers today
ποΈ 356
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οΈ Feb 24 2021
Who can drink 2 litres of Gasoline?
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Apr 14 2021
Whst is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat ?
ποΈ 184
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οΈ Feb 12 2021
Itβs a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
ποΈ 29
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οΈ Apr 03 2021
My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"
So I packed all my stuff and right.
ποΈ 70
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οΈ Mar 17 2021
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
ποΈ 12k
π
οΈ Nov 28 2020
What has 2 butts and kills people?
An assassin
Thank you! Iβll be here all night
ποΈ 161
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οΈ Feb 24 2021
2 cannibals start eating a fella
One starts at the head, one starts at the feet
one goes to the other - "how's it going?"
the other goes - "I'm having a ball"
first cannibal goes - "slow down, you're eating too fast"
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Apr 07 2021
The price for a slice of pie in Costa Rica is $2.50 and $3.00 in the Bahamas. Do you know what those are?
The pie rates of the Caribbean.
ποΈ 33
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οΈ Mar 24 2021
Igloo 2: Electric Boogaloo
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
The spread of Covid 19 is based on 2 factors....
-
How dense the population is.
-
How dense the population is.
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
I've had M.C. Hammer music in my head so much today that's it's giving me a headache. I took 2 Tylenol, but....
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 24 2021
2 pancakes are talking
one asks another did the 4 year old treat you right? No,he flipped me off
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 07 2021
Dude 1: Hey bro Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you hand me that pamphlet?
ποΈ 46
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οΈ Apr 09 2021
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 23 2021
I stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
I payed my $2 and the guy says βOnce upon a time there was this lobster.β
ποΈ 294
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οΈ Feb 12 2021
The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Mar 21 2021
2 guys walk into a bar...
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Mar 30 2021
There were 2 ancient soldiers on a boat escaping Greece.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Apr 21 2021
I bought an exercise bike, but I got rid of it after 2 weeks..
Didn't seem to be getting anywhere.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 21 2021
What did the Mexican fireman name his 2 sons?
Hose A and Hose B.
Taken from dad jokes
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Apr 10 2021
What did 2 tell 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot?
Donβt mind him. Heβs just a product of their times.
ποΈ 30
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
Over 100 years ago 2 brothers announced that they could fly.
Turns out, they were Wright.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Mar 19 2021
There are 2 types of people in this world: 1: People who can extrapolate information based off of incomplete data
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
The Queen Mary & The Queen Elizabeth 2
Since you guys like one liners, I thought youβd live two liners.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Apr 19 2021
A SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says
ποΈ 87
π
οΈ Jan 28 2021
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
ποΈ 584
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οΈ Feb 02 2021
Why do chicken coops always have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 they would be a chicken sedan!
ποΈ 114
π
οΈ Mar 01 2021
What has 2 butts and kills people ?
ποΈ 50
π
οΈ Mar 12 2021
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
ποΈ 44
π
οΈ Mar 22 2021
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