That’s why the Bible starts with “In the big inning....”
He was the Bat boy!
He made a home run
A schwing and Amish!
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
It says, "In the BIG-inning."
Then it hit me!
They don't order anything, because between the three of them they don't have a dollar to their name.
Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.
I wonder if he'll be overthrown...
He's the pitcher.
Phil
It was the fall of the roamin' umpire.
Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
India: crickets
Put me in coach.
Then it hit me.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
You look for the fresh prints!
And the coach says "Europe!"
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Japan.
That was the punchline
Swing and Amish!
Al Kaline.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of whiskey.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know four things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat, the bouncer is a blonde girl with a club, I’m a 6-foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate and the woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters: “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it four times.”
I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”
As a matter of Texan pride; remember the à la mode.
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
really only driven from time to time..
……..
Or just a low ha? Don’t downvote me 🥺👉👈
She said:
I'm mature
I'm moral
I'm polite
And, by and large, I'm perfect
Don't know why she then accused me of having "a fundamental incapability to understand the proper use of apostrophes and spacing" though....
Really big hands
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
..to find exactly 32 of them.
Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
With a cowculator!
All they do is baulk
HDMI
Then it hit me
