From my 10 year old son: Why did the coffee taste like dirt?
A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.
She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.
We always finish each others sentences.
10 years ago I married my best friend
Our wives are still mad about it but we were drunk and thought it was funny
Dark jokes my 10 year old hit me with part 2: penguins are alot like kids
Both can fly if you throw them hard enough
My 10 year old son said, “Hey Dad, do you know why I want to shoot a hog?”
“So we can have hamburgers!”
He was serious but it still cracked me up.
Dad: "I can't believe 2007 was 10 years ago."
Kid: "It wasn't..."
Dad: "I know. That's why I don't believe it."
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
10 years ago I promised to myself not to touch a drop of drink while I'm at work.
I haven't touched a job since.
Letting my inner 10 year old out.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years, but I never heard her tell a single joke.
We are in a very serious relationship.
What does air conditioning and a 10 year old computer have in common?
Both of them are useless when you open windows
10 year old responded with great dad joke.
My husband asked me when would be a good time to schedule his dentist appointment. Before I could reply, our 10 year old daughter replied, "Tooth-hurty, of course."
My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"
"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"
I've never been so proud.
A mom angrily told her 4 year old son to say counting if he wanted to get his lunch. So the boy started... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10...
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
The doctor gave me 10 years left to live.
I killed him and the judge gave me 60!
(From my 10 year old) What do you call potatoes that have been quarantined?
After 10 years of writing, I finally finished my novel, Chronology.
What's something only 10 year olds can do?
Turn 11.
My kid asked me that question and they clearly had something else in mind, because she was less than enthusiastic about my response.
My 10 year old came in with a piece of paper and said “Dad, I’ve got a joke for you.”
Then she ripped it in half and said, “Never mind, it’s tearable.”
I feel like I’ve succeeded as a dad.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I'm more focused on now, since I only have 20 20 vision
After 10 years of attempt to lure wemon
I've become a master baiter
This tin foil rose my wife made me for our 10 year “tin” anniversary.
My 10-year old just saw me on Reddit and said this. I am proud.
Dad, do people on Reddit make fun of that sleeping lion song? It’s just a meme away, a meme away.
What happened to the food that was kept open for 10 years?
10 years ago today, I married my best friend..
My wife is still angry about it but me & Dave were drunk and thought it was hilarious
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
This one from my 10 year old daughter:
I said to her after reading a reddit fact: do you know what a group of leemurs is called?
A conspiracy
My wife: do you know what a group of crows is called?
A murder.
10 year old from upstairs:
Do you know what a group of cars is called?
Traffic.
My wife fell out. I posted with full dad pride.
My printer for the last 10 years finally died on me yesterday.
It was like a Brother to me.
My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.
My 2020 New Year's resolution is to finish my 2019 resolution. My goal was to lose 10 lbs.
My 10-year-old daughter gave me this one: My friend asked me to round up her 36 sheep.
My 10 year old came up with this gem
“‘Touché, or not touché.’ That is the question.” That’s Dadspeare.”
A Nine year old girl has gone missing after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger
Here is my Top 10 list of favorite years from the past decade.
(In chronological order)
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
As my wife was cleaning out the closet, she suddenly shouted excitedly, "Can you believe it?! After 10 years and it still fits!"
I laughed, "Babe, it's a scarf!"
My dad finally came back from getting his cigarettes after 10 years and immediately started telling me how good I had it
I was like "ok boomerang"
I was in the car with my 10 year old daughter and there was a sign that said road works ahead. She’s said road works ahead , that’s a relief. I’ve never been so proud to be a dad.
A woman was found guilty and the judge declared she will serve 10 years in prison or she can sleep with him. He got in trouble for
Ending a sentence with a proposition.
A stammering guy murdered a person with a normal guy.. the normal guy was in prison for 10 years but the stammering guy was in prison for 20 years
Guess it takes stammering guys longer time to complete there sentences.
My dad told me this joke about 10 years ago.
“I’m going down to the shops, I’ll be 5 minutes.”
After 10 years of faithful service, my Japanese printer finally died on me yesterday.
It was like a Brother to me.
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