I'm so proud. My boyfriend just told his first dad joke

Hanging out with him and the kids this morning when I found out he's gonna make a great stepdad

Me: Did you know when you get married you can change your last name to anything?

Him: So my name will be Gary Anything?

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📅︎ Jan 27 2014
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My smart aleck 16 year old son got me with this one the other night

Driving home from his football game and I change lanes without signaling

Him: Hey you didn't use your turn signal, you could've killed us!

Me: But I didn't, and that's what counts...

Him: No, it's the thought that counts, and I thought you were gonna' kill us

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👤︎ u/jrafferty
📅︎ Sep 18 2017
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"Do you have a match?"

I'm gonna make you go through the story before the payoff.

My mom asked me, "Do you have a match?" and then answered herself, "Yeah, your breath and my feet!" I looked at her quizzically and she explained that my dad used to say that when they were dating - either that or "Not since Superman." He used to say that there were "no new jokes, just new audiences."

So when my dad walks in, my mom asks him if he has a match.

What does he say?

"Not since Superman."

As Mom and I are cracking up, he says, "Well, I could have said 'your breath and my feet!'"

Mom tells him that she was telling me about how he used to say that to her, and what does he say?

"Well, you know, there are no new jokes. Just new audiences."

My dad's jokes are like a stopped clock. Infuriating, but at least you can count on them to never change.

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📅︎ Oct 02 2014
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