I heard that sweetened milk and egg yolks are getting a divorce

Apparently they're mixed up in a custardy battle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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No yolk, I can make the best egg white omelette.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Egg yolk tries to scramble back to safety v.redd.it/i0z1tcciw3k21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadow-_-king
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Dad says egg whites are no yolk.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why does Tom demand his egg cooked with a perfectly circular yolk?

Because he's eggcentric

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disrupturous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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Two eggs are sharing yolks, what does one egg say to the other?

I'm cracking up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msaldierna315
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Sandwich shop employee asked what kind of egg I want (without specifying white or with yolk)

"Chicken, please"

My family had to respond to her confused look, assuring her I was pulling her leg.

Note: not a dad yet, but I'm training to be one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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At least he won't turn over in his grave.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rainbowarriorhere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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This egg is yolked
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πŸ‘€︎ u/REdd1212
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I've placed simultaneous orders for a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats, and for an egg omelette on DoorDash

Looks like we're about to find out, once and for all, what comes first!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneReddit123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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At least he got laid before he died
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What happens to an egg every time you look at it?

It becomes egg sighted

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamadaeleleimy
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Wellthat was un eggspected
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sriramempire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Can we not make any egg related dad jokes on this sub

They are uneggceptable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peter7542
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Egg: If you take me seriously, you'll leave my shell intact and not remove my whites. Me: *Breaks Egg and removes whites*

Egg: Am I a yolk to you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goddred
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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My food truck idea

Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.

"The Poach Coach"

Popular dishes:

  1. Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
  2. Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
  3. The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
  4. The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
  5. The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
  6. Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakibombs85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Why were the eggs Benedict served on a shiny platter on Christmas morning?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnazz23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
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Dad teaching me culinary skills.

"Let me show you how to make an egg roll, son."

Picks an egg

"Take an egg, put it on the table, and just push it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steelpan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Just came up with this and my brother says it’s awful...

Why was the German egg depressed?

in German accent

Because his life is a yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syncopatedsouls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Who was Snow White's brother?

Egg White.

Get the yolk?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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An egg-celent pun!

I just had a sandwich with only raw eggs.

It was so bad I can't even yolk about it!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Still in the shadow of the master dad.

My parents are in town for a visit. Keep in mind that I have a 3 year old, so the dad jokes have doubled around here lately.

We go eat and I'm sharing a big burger with my wife. It has a fried egg on it, which I don't like, so I gave her the half with the yolk in it. She bit into it and the yolk broke and dribbled all over her hand. Before I could say anything, my dad mumbles, "Looks like the yolk's on you".

I said, " NOOOOOOOOO you beat me to it!" as my wife and my mom rolled their eyes and groaned. I'm pretty good at the dad jokes, but my dad has the grandfather buff or something.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2016
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Shop based egg pun

I need help coming up with a pun for my son's Easter art project. He has done a shop window display using three egg shells as vases in a window box up front. It needs a catchy title based on eggs and shops. Best I've come up with is 'Yolk-al Village Store'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoLo99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2016
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Dad (68) got me (37F) today

Me: I bought a dozen eggs and hard boiled them. When I peeled the first one and cut into it, it had two yolks.

Him: Yeah? What were the yolks?

Me: oh geez, Dad. Yolks! Not jokes. facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incognita1978
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
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Visited my dad and he made me a breakfast sandwich and I joked him for a change.

He made us all egg sandwiches, over easy - runny and delicious. I got some on my hand and as I went to lick it off said, "Yolks on me."

Dad went, "Heh. That's my girl."

Ain't no higher praise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaberkaty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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In the car with my family...

We were talking about eating cow eyes. My brother said it would probably taste like hard boiled eggs.

In the background my dad has been mooing. When my mom turned to him to tell him to be quiet, he stopped and said...

"I'm not yolking!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macbeth-is-my-cat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
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Too early for Dad jokes

So some friends and I were at the breakfast buffet at a hotel (road trip).

Friend #1: Hey look, deviled eggs!

Me: No those are just boiled eggs.

Other friend: Yea deviled eggs are prepared with some other stuff in it.

Friend #1: Yea yea whatever

15 minutes later, going for seconds

Friend #1: Hey, pass me a deviled egg.

All of us: It's just boiled, not deviled!

Friend #1: Relax, I'm just yolking around.

He was too proud of that one. Us, not so much..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpslayer27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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My wife and I recently went to a comedy club...

... The club was packed as an egg was doing some stand up comedy. After the laughter died down from a particularly hilarious one-liner, I leaned over to my wife and said "that's a funny yolk".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istandalonetoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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I've been back home for 2 days and already got dadjoked

I was frying and egg this morning and I accidentally broke the yolk. My dad sees this and goes "looks like the Yolks on you!"

Oh how Ive missed him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpkolbush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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Q: What's the past tense of "break"?

A: Broke

Q: What do people do with cigars and cigarettes?

A: Smoke

Q: What do you call a funny story that's supposed to make someone laugh?

A: Joke

Q: What's the most popular brand of cola in the world?

A: Coke

Q: What do you call the white of an egg?

A: Yolk.

No, it's the albumen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eldormilon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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Watching a show on street foods around the world...

TV - "And here, they put eggs IN their coffee"

Dad - "Eggs in coffee? They've go to be yolking!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lm014
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
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Our teppan chef pulled this one on us.

While starting on the eggs for the fried rice, he separated the yolk from the whites and started bouncing it on his spatula. He turned to a guy at the table and said "Ready?" as though he was going to toss it to him for a catch, then once we'd all made adequately horrified faces, he replies "I'm just yolking!"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2014
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Eating with my boyfriend

His eggs were over-easy. He wanted to place an egg on his toast, but in transit, the yolk exploded all over his hand.

First thing that comes out of my mouth: "Are you... yolkay?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deeahnuh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2014
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