Two of the most famous Ronin in history are transported to an open grassy field to duel for the title of King of the Ronin. This a winner-take-all death match with the last one standing declared the winner. To spice things up a bit, both Miyamoto and Yamada will receive a passive ability and a special technique. They are as follows:
Miyamoto Musashi
Passive - "The Teacherless Student" - CLASSIFICATION: Learning factor - As he states in the first ground book of The Book of Five Rings, Miyamoto learns one thousand things from one thing. This learning factor allows him to learn his opponent's strengths/weaknesses/tendencies at three times the speed of elite samurai.
Special Technique - "Undefeated Double Blade: Eagle Talon Strike" - When an opponent attacks Miyamoto, he uses both of his swords to deflect the attack from beneath said strike in an upward thrusting motion while jumping high into the air at the same time with a 20% chance of disarming. Whilst on the way down, Miyamoto flips his swords over and stabs into each of the opponent's shoulders with a 10% chance of severing a limb. This move has a 4 minute cooldown.
Yamada Nagamasa
Passive - "Pirate's Intuition" - CLASSIFICATION: Clairvoyance - Yamada's rich history of plundering and attacking Dutch trade ships has culminated in the ability to see 20 seconds into the future with a 5 second cooldown.
Special Technique - "300 Samurai Strike" - First, Yamada must reach the requirement of landing a strike more than a scratch on all the limbs of the opponent and a final strike to the chest within 15 seconds to land this technique. Once the requirements are met, Yamada's next strike is with the force of the 300 samurai who accompanied him in the Southern Peninsula embedded into his blade to deal a blow that has a 60% chance of severing a limb. This move has an 8 minute cooldown.
Who will be the last one standing?
Beyond his wikipedia page. What were his observations about the events he was involved in, and what did he think of the people he governed, given that they wouldn't have been seen favorably by those in power back in Japan? Also, did he really wear a western-style suit like the portrayal in that wikipedia page? I've seen some portrayals in media that paint him more like a pirate/adventurer, but other images of him show him as a military leader and statesman.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
It was about a weak back.
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
