Some cool and PUnny PUns
"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"
"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"
"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"
"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"
"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"
"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"
"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"
crashing noises
"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"
"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"
"AAAAAAAAAAH!"
silence
"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."
EDIT: formatting.
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."
Credit to u/psybermonkey15
https://www.instagram.com/standup.trex/
https://preview.redd.it/9449vyyyj4f61.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f5d46a86d95447af0958da58a8583a00398e36f
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
Feefiphobia.
Match.com
Kids: Not again Grandpa, we've heard that story a million times! Don't you have any others to tell us?!
Grandpa: This is a one-story house.
Credit: https://inkyrickshaw.com/comic/not-very-tall-tale/
A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...
(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )
Itβs a wife or deaf situation
Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Edit: Winner:- https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/knrrk1/rpuns_best_of_2020_nomination_thread/ghx6xyy
Welcome to /r/puns bestof 2020 nomination thread! A chance to win reddit premium.
Comment below the links of posts/comments that were exceptional.
-
Post/comment must have been made in the year 2020.
-
Anybody can nominate.
-
One person can nominate maximum of 1 post or comment.
Prizes:
1 month reddit premium (no ads on your feed) and access to the reddit lounge to the exceptional post/comment.
Note: The person who nominates will also get award if the post they nominate is good. (Very likely you will get it :)
All the best!!
https://preview.redd.it/wa3s3ozxftc61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=04f10d36e95914e4d39ec2312ce5176a062911b1
Who thinks they're punny?! πβ β I sketched this Hellraiser holding a cactus and thought it'd make a cute Valentine's Day card. I'm in the process of colouring it and I want YOU to help me caption it.β
I've asked the question on IG (@ashrobertsondesign) but didn't get a lot of feedback so I'm reaching out here. Gimme your best prick, point, hell, etc. related puns n make it about love π₯
I'll choose a favourite from the comments and turn it into a FREE Valentine's Day card printable.
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
His com-pewter
https://imgur.com/gallery/n5TLdNy
... If he's out there using dadjokes like this: https://i.imgur.com/R6WrI5t.jpg
My wife and I just had our first child! (Well, she had him and I stood there all supportive like) Gibson is 10 weeks old now and ready for meme glory. https://imgur.com/gallery/NOL14WO
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e6/f1/11/e6f111be88dd550ec8e57724db1157db.jpg
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
https://imgur.com/a/zLeRYMp
Pocket Lindts...
Credit: Twitter
My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."
A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"
It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.
... Smartass, lol.
https://imgur.com/a/2RkfNhA
I canβt believe Iβve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didnβt have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.
Not sure if links to videos are allowed here but I made a sketch thatβs on topic so I hope you enjoy.
They Ceasar.
---
Crosspost from r/actuallesbians: https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/jys3ki/just_found_this_gem_on_facebook/
Can you make me one with everything?
https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchPeopleDieInside/comments/kb2m9o/most_successful_joke_ever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museumβs famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings theyβve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words youβve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldnβt smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.
Chip off the old block she is!
Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!
Relevant image on the post in which I made the joke:
https://imgur.com/gallery/6RjUUBx
Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?
Because they are rain-deer.
Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?
He had low elf esteem.
Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?
They always drop their needles.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?
Frostbite
βWhat did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?
It's Christmas Eve!
I don't know what happened to him all I know is that he got comPENsation.
βbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..β βif your name is Michael, please stand upβ
then a couple of guys stand up and he goes
βthat concludes my mike checkβ
(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
