Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

The Killing Fields of Kinmen, June-September 1951

 

张正林’s world had shrunk to the ten square meters of his earthen bunker. Around him, the constant thuds of PLA artillery fire kicked dust into the dugout’s single vent and shook the electric lantern on the floor. Whenever he dared to look up from the ground, he could see his comrade’s faces, looking like he probably did: shaken.

《一百九十二。。。 一百几十三。。。一百 – 》

《闭嘴！》

《好呀，好呀。。。。》

恩来 was back at it again, the bastard. Never knew when to shut up.

 

After their victory on the mainland, the PLA was eager to continue their drive to reunite China, starting with China’s various offshore islands, mostly still in the hands of the RoC. Things were looking up: the nationalists were running back to Taiwan with their tails between their legs. The time to strike was now! There was just one problem.

 

《我们没有船？》

《对。》

《糟糕。》

 

Yeah. Nevertheless, the PLA made do, mostly by seizing every civilian junk, dinghy, or fishing boat they could find. Despite their complete lack of experience with amphibious operations, they prepared to launch their attacks. Their first target: Hainan.

Despite the numerous difficulties the PLA faced in actually embarking and transporting their troops, the invasion of Hainan went about as well as could be expected. The RoC defenders were stretched far too thin defending a long coastline and attempting to suppress a local PLA insurgency supported by aerial resupply. Furthermore, due to the destruction of the RoC air forces on Hainan, the by now formidable PLAAF was able to quickly cut the island off from outside supplies, drive off the RoC navy, and destroy many of the RoC’s beach defenses. Even though the successive PLA landing waves often got lost, missed their scheduled landing times, or simply failed to embark due to lack of vessels, their sheer numbers and the disorganization of the RoC resulted in a number of viable beachheads being formed, which were quickly shored up with air power and additional reinforcements. Within a month, large-scale RoC resistance on Hainan had collapsed, with most of the defeated RoC troops either captured or killed.

 

Hainan:

PLA Casualties: 10,000 dead and wounded

RoC Casualties: ~100,000, 5,000 remaining insurgents

 

The second PLA target was the island of Kinmen. Here, the RoC had learned their lesson about resisting PLA amphibious landings and had made some key changes. Firstly, they were prepared

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

[Removed]

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free