Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” after a swear word...
I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...
I gots two words that will leave you all scratching your heads.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What's a word that doesn't rhyme with itself?
Football, chocolate... I dunno, lots of things don't rhyme with "itself".
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Whats another word for toll booths?
He followed the instructions word-for-word
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
Just found out that 'Aaarrrgggghhh' isn't a real word.
I can't tell you how angry I am.
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a pass word
What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.
I looked up the word 'opaque' in the dictionary...
....but the definition is unclear.
What is a necromancer's favourite word to use to cast a spell?
Using the word ‘but’ in an English Assignment is good,
The word "liner" is so important
that it's under "lined" in the dictionary.
"You just mark my words"
I said to the English teacher.
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful
She said “congrats!”
I replied “thanks, it means a lot”
During breakfast, my dad said, “Let me sum up 2020 in one word.”
The best safe word to use during sex is “meatloaf”
Because it means, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that”
Who invented the word invention?
If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
Tweety words of encouragement
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
What's another word for a marine biologist?
I invented a new word today
My teacher asked us to describe our breakfast in one word.
I told her it was surreal
I’m thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesn’t have an ending
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
What is an example of someone getting to eat up their words?
King Midas saying that this sandwich is gold.
I learnt cuss words from my uncle's son
Jokes with crappy three-word punchlines that rely on irony aren't funny
Shout out to whoever made the word plethora.
What's another word in a thesaurus for 'mother' ?
Can't say. Mum's the word.
If I had to describe myself in three words, I'd have to say:
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
Some people say that "icy" is the easiest word in the English language to spell.
When I think about it, I see why.
What’s the best pun you can come up with the word “pelican” ?
I recently learnt the Welsh word for 'push' is 'lluq'.
I saw it written on a Glass Door.
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
"Trousers" is a fancy words for pants
Feeling excluded, my toddler asked me to stop spelling out words while he was around.
I just found out that Aaargghhh is not a real word.
I can’t tell you how angry I am at this.
What's the longest word in the english language?
It's "smiles", because there's a mile between the two "s"'s.
My 4 year old son has been learning spanish all year and he still can’t say the word please.
Which i think is poor for four
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