Sharing my son's wonderful moment!
At Avengers campus in Disneyland watching spiderman fly through the air.
My son: that's acrobatic
Me:. More parkour
My son: don't you mean more par-ker
Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
Ever have one of those days where everything is going great, and a nice, warm bowl of soup would just be wonderful… but then you find out that there just aren’t ANY crackers to be found? Not in the cupboard, not in the pantry, nowhere at all?
Definitely one of those days where you’re cracker-lacking!
Yes, wonderful things
You know how some ancient tombs have money or valuables buried with their inhabitants? That’s the first cryptocurrency.
My Toyota truck was great, but now it's Wonderful
I have a large variety of wonderful fans…
It's the most wonderful thyme of the year...
If you got married and they didn’t play “she’s some kind of wonderful” at the reception did you really get married?
I finished reading Bon Jovi’s biography and had the wonderful chance to ask him if he actually did the stuff in his biography.
He just shrugged and said it’s my life
Dad jokes are wonderful and here's why:
What a wonderful audience
A wonderful bird, the pelican.
His beak can hold more than his bellycan.
I’m telling my 5yr old about the wonderful world of literature and she says it sounds boring. I responded with
But... it’s lit! Hits the dad dab
I made a meme for all yew wonderful people
I making a game full of terrible, wonderful, puns. What do you guys think?
It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year!
There are many wonderful moments and beautiful sights when raising a child.
But the sight of your daughter stealing the last piece of chicken is truly breast taking.
Tree: Hey, Boulder, what do you think I should be when I grow up? Boulder: You would make a wonderful bedroom furniture set.
Tree: Yes. Yes I wood. Thanks Boulder, you rock.
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
son: dad, what's the secret to you and mom being happy? dad:we go out to a romantic dinner at least once a week. son:that's wonderful where do you go? dad:I like italian...I don't know where your mother goes.
A truck driver at my work told me this wonderful gem
Im not feeling to good. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I can't stop tripping.
Eh? Eh??
Yeah you're laughing..
May 2019 be wonderful for you. And the other eleven months also
I made a wonderful meal last night, even the clock loved it!
It went back four seconds!
So a man discovered a new species of flower that smelled wonderful...
...and soon grew and sold thousands to florists around the world. He called the flowers Nomasia, both singular and plural. Soon, almost every field and house had Nomasia.
One day a man was found dead with Nomasia in his hand and a joke written on his shirt. A detective arrived at the scene and instantly saw the pun on the dead man's clothes.
"What's that?" he asked an officer nearby.
The officer answered, "Oh, that's just a pair o' Nomasia."
When people ask my dad how long he's been married he tells them "5 wonderful years!
I just watched this wonderful and touching movie about a chef in Northern China.
Set in Northern China, this movie follows the rite of passage of a jaded, aimless Chinese chef who falls in love with a worn out cooking pan that he and his friends once scorned. The two develop a powerful and inspirational relationship in which they discover truths about cooking that take most people a lifetime to learn. It's called A Wok to Remember
I still remember fondly the first time my Dad took me to a wonderful seafood restaurant.
I’ll never forget it. A great mussel memory.
Do you know why international artists can create wonderful nude depictions?
They have studied a broad.
x-post from funny: Misspell 'dual monitors' prompts wonderful dad-jokes
What is the key thing to ensure a wonderful, memorable Thanksgiving?
There should be a Japanese restaurant that sells weird, but wonderful foods...
They should call it, Studio Nibli.
Overheard this wonderful conversation
An older man and older woman were walking past the art department at my school. They talked about art for a bit, then the woman nudged the man and said "I bet you have an artistic side."
He said "yeah, I can draw flies."
And he waits. They walk a few more paces. "I don't shower very often."
It's a Wonderful Dad Joke
Heard this great one from George Bailey.
http://imgur.com/hoSNp3t
My boss threw this dadjoke at us yesterday. It was wonderful.
Coworker: "oh no, my elbow is numb!"
Boss: "well what about your skull, is your skull still numb?"
Coworker: "My skull? No?"
Boss: "It's not? Because someone around here told me you were a numbskull!"
He proceeded to giggle as he walked away.
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