Will Sharpe Puns

All they have are cans of tuna and some firewood. They need to determine how to get the tuna out of the can so they can eat and not starve.

The anthropologist says that they should find some sharp rocks and bang the sides of the can until it pops open. That's what people did before tools.

The chemist says they should start a fire and cook the cans. This will cause them to expand and burst and we can eat warm tuna.

The economist says "alright guys, imagine if we had a can opener"

So you like cheesy puns, eh? Well you've Comte the right place. I can Feta bunch of Gouda puns into one Muenster-sized sentence. None of the other tools in the Cheddar quite as sharp as I am, at least when it comes to cheese puns. Whoever will lend an o-Paneer will be in Whey over their heads. So look out Baylough, I'm dropping a Bandal of comedy gold that will make your Bra and Pantysgawn.

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.

Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

I grew up in Northern California and have visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few times as a kid.

Every. Goddam. Time. My dad would pause in front of the jellyfish tank and say "You kids think these are cool, wait till you see the peanut butter fish. Maybe they will make you a sandwich."

So on saturday my mom and dad accompanied me and my family there for the first time in years. When we got to the jellyfish I was ready, and beat my dad to the punch. My three year old thought I was serious of course, but my five year old daughter is pretty sharp and she called me out.

My dad leaned down and congratulated her for not being duped. He then said "Let's go check out the tuna tank." My daughter got excited and said "They have TUNA?!"

Grinning, my dad said "Yes sweetheart, and just like at Red Lobster, you get to pick which one you want and they will make you a sandwich."

The old man has still got it.

I was making a quesadilla...

Me: I wonder how it will taste with this cheddar.

My Dad: It's going to be sharp.

Me: .....

My parents and I were sitting around having key lime pie.

Dad "It has a very sharp flavour"

Mum "That will be the lime. If you find any metal that will be the key"