Whine Wine Puns

Today while out to lunch, my husband was walking with my daughter (19 months). They walked past the wine slection on their way out when my daughter tried to reach for one, my husband responded, "No sweet heart. You've already had enough whine today."

Poor Red,
Poor Red whines,
Pour red wine,
Pour red wine to mend Red's mind.
Mind the wine that ends Red's whine.
Find the time to send more wine.
For poor Red's whine, we pour more wine.
We dread the time when poor Red whines.

For a silent auction for a non-profit I'm helping with they need rose puns/play on words for the packages. It's a wine event as well. Here are some of the ideas I've figured out as well. Whine and Rows? Rose Colored Glasses Rose and Shone

My grandad comes over for a glass of wine or two every monday and he pours a glass and says to me

"oh, do you want a glass?"

i said "no thanks, i'm not much of a wine person"

to which he replied "but you whine all the time..."

he bested me this time.

I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.

He knows I'm a teetotaler.

"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.

"I know how to make some drinks."

"Like what?"

"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."

There is a snort there.

"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."

He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.

"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.

He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.

"How"

"Tell them about 1991."

"What?"

"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."

True story.

"This is a no whining zone. No wine, and no cheese!" (Cue dad-like laughter)

Me: (Whining) Dad: You like some cheese with that wine??