Ok, so it has been 3 and a half weeks since we got back from holiday. I have had zero contact with her, thankfully. My BF has still maintained contact and sees her, takes our puppy to see her, which I can’t have a problem with, she’s still his mum and he wants a relationship with her. That’s his choice, not mine and I would never try to influence it.
The impact this is having on my BF is simply catastrophic, and so I decided that I love him more than I hate her, so I would open up communication, but by making it expressly clear what my position on things are. He has told me that after trying to get her to understand “a few times”, she understands what she’s done wrong, is so apologetic and wants to apologise to me but he’s told her not to text me.
So here are the messages:
Me: FMIL,
I will never be able to explain to you how much your actions while we were away and when we came home have affected me. I know that BF has explained, but you still will never know the true effect. I felt completely violated, I felt like my privacy had been entirely invaded, and that you have absolutely no respect for me or our home being ours. Our relationship has been damaged and will never be the same again, which is a shame after all these years, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive your actions. There is simply no justification for what you did.
I have remained silent towards you as I originally preferred to have no contact with you again. However, the impact this is having on BF is catastrophic, and I love him too much to put him through that. I do not want to live my life avoiding you and putting obstacles in my relationship. I would like you to still respect my decision to not come to our home for the foreseeable future, but I am willing to have some form of relationship with you with clear boundaries, towards both of us, our home and our thoughts on things.
Please keep this between us.
X
Her reply: How dare you send me this how dare you, read this back on yourself and feel what I feel, you need help , never ever use my son name in your defence of self pity
I haven’t replied, I was simply gobsmacked. I need some advice. I haven’t spoken to BF about it yet as he wasn’t home until really late last night. (The comment in the first paragraph is about our relationship, mine and hers, but I wonder if she thinks I’m talking about my relationship with BF)
I started watching What we did on our holiday staring Rosamund Pike, because why not. So here are some thoughts.
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Rosamund Pike is just a pretty darn good actress. She has the withering stare down 100%. I am very excited to see what she can do with the role. (This is my first time seeing her in something. I don't like to watch drama's much.)
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I would love to see Billy Connolly as Thom. He just was this way about him that is subtle yet charismatic and serious.
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David Tennant for Ishmeal or Asmodeon would be pretty wicked.
Also watch this movie. It's really really good.
I have an extra ticket to a pre-screening of the film in the Renoir Floridablanca.
The screening is TONIGHT at 22:00
If you want to come PM me.
Edit: Forgot to mention, the film is without dubbing and subtitled in Spanish (VOSE)
EDIT 2: Went to see it alone, no-one said anything :(
I don’t know how to tag my original post and first update. Any advice would be great.
I didn’t reply to FMIL, but I have received a text from FSIL today.
Good morning OP, 1: please stop sending my mother inappropriate texts,you of all people should know she can’t handle conflict and bullying. 2: I was not getting involved but now I feel you are clearly trying to control the situation. 3: if my mum violated your home then clearly your sister violated my brothers home as she was there when my mum arrived and she had a key as did my mum with my brothers wishes. 4: do not respond to this message and do not contact me my family and especially my mum ever again 5: my mothers entered my brothers home to make sure he had clean clothes on his return from holiday and put a few things away of his as he had been working all week. 6: I hope you sit back and realise that from a kind act of helping and caring for you! as she always has, this has become such an upsetting and awful thing please stay away from my mum and me.I hope you truly realise what you have done by making my mum out to be an awful women!!!! How dare you. she is broken and I won’t put up with it.
I sent a reply which is super long and basically outlined in a respectful way what the case actually was. Her reply was “absolutely hilarious” with a crying laughing emoji.
(for reference, while we were away on holiday, my sister asked me if she could go to our house to use my printer. She text asking for permission despite having a key. I knew she was there the whole time she was there, just in case people think there’s double standards going on here)
Background - she has always crossed lines and boundaries, but since it was always at her house before me and my OH had moved in together I always felt like I couldn’t really say anything.
Before we went away, she asked us if we wanted her to tidy, I told her no. She asked my OH he said no. She text again while we were on holiday and we said no. I go to uni, work up to 30 hours a week some weeks and my OH works full time as well as on call and overtime. We have hectic lives, so yes, a lot of the time our house can be a mess when we haven’t had a day off (when I say mess, washing not put away, the usual etc).
We came home yesterday, she’d picked us up from the airport and she had told me in the car that she’d done some washing - instantly I’m pissed off. I get back to my house, she tries to give me the key to my own house, we walk in, she offers me a cup of tea in my own house and then tells me “I have to go get the washing in”. This is the first part. I actually surprise myself and say firmly “no, I’ll go get it in”.
I noticed she has tidied downstairs and it annoys me, we told her no. She makes a point of saying “and yes I did tidy” so I turned around and said “yes, I appreciate it but I’m not happy about it, we told you no”. She gets upset and offended and immediately walks out of our house. I go upstairs and this is when I lose it. My bedrooms are spotless, she has put all washing away, reorganised toiletries, remade our bed! She has touched my clothes, she has touched my things, she has touched and seen my underwear. And thinks it’s acceptable. Who does that? Honestly, what woman thinks that it is acceptable to go through a 24 year old woman’s things? All of my things may I add. Everything upstairs has been touched in some way.
I have a study room in my box room, it is filled with things at the moment. It also has a Christmas card, a teddy bear and a judges gavel on the desk (my uncle passed away at Christmas, I came home from the hospital to find the Christmas card, the teddy was something I took to the hospital, and the gavel was meant to be a Christmas present for him that was then given to me - he studied and loved law and I am a law student). That room is my room. It has my things, things that I placed and haven’t touched since really. And she has been in there. The card was not in the way I place it, and I had had a panic attack when I knew she’d been in there that she had thrown away the envelope with his writing on it that is under the c
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Update: So, there’s been a new development after my last post
This next evening all went to dinner as usual, it was excellent, we had fun and good food. After dinner LO wasn’t too tired, so she and her dad and my parents decided to take a stroll down the pier, while teen and I sat down to listen to some live music. BF handed me some money for a drink. We ordered one beer each and chatted. After a while BF comes back, unloads LO, who is now extremely tired, adking if she can sit here while he heads back to the room, he’ll be back shortly to pick her up and if she falls asleep he’ll carry her back. I say okay, he leaves with my parents. We sit a while. Time goes by. LO gets more and more tired. He does not come back. After 45 minutes, I send teen back to see where he’s at and get him (I don’t have my phone on me). She comes back alone, he is having a beer with my parents!! (I am asking myself why the heel he didn’t sit with us/me to have that beer? I feel he prefers to be with my parents and not his family/me?). She says he will come get LO once he finishes. LO is now almost sleeping in my arms, I ask teen to stay with our drinks and take LO back. I find it hard not to snap at BF, why he did not come back for LO? ‘Because he was having a drink with my parents, he would come after (regardless of his 5 yo being visibly overdue for sleeping already when he dropped her off in my arms). I am not sure how to have this conversation with him tomorrow, that this is friggin not okay behaviour! We had agreed to plan and have proper conversation to avoid these kind of things.. i am so fed up with him not taking responsibility, not talking with me about things that matter and for not keeping continuity for LO. Also for him seemingly preferring my parent’s company over mine/ours. I am not the best at having talks in a proper manner without getting agitated. What is the right way to go about talking of these issues that I have?
I’m hurt, I’m pissed, I’m not sure if I want this any longer. These issues are just a tiny portion of a much larger range of problems.
Hello everyone. After a long time of feeling under pressure, finally i believe it is the right time to post this here. We aren't redditors normally but regularly follow some of the subs, and legaladvice is one of them. I and my wife are both in our mid -40s. We are European but moved our business to the US a few years ago and have been living here since then.
I want to give all the necessary details because we really need some important advices,but i also want to keep this as short as possible.
One and a half years ago,we went on a vacation in Asia without kids to spend about 1 month there. We reserved a high-end,luxury resort where we met this guy who is a 23 year old student,working there as the receptionist.
Since it was our first time in the country, we were in search of someone who could help us with a thing or two. And soon after he befriended us in a friendly way. He took us some places in the city and we kind of developed a relationship. We found out he was studying architecture and looking for some job opportunities in US. Since we are both archtitecs,this developed our friendship more. During our 1 month holiday, he was the most respectful,mature young man we have ever met and we both kind of felt close to him because he could know how to hold a conversation,he helped us a lot,and he was fun to have around.
We exchanged our social media profiles, our personal numbers and left behind a nice holiday in Asia. When we returned,we kept contact and started talking. 4 months later,he visited us in US and we hosted him in a hotel. We introduced him to our sons and he wanted a job from us. It was impossible for us at that moment but we wanted to take our time to think about it. After he left the States, he started making some advanced to my wife and it all resulted in him telling my wife that he is in love with her asking us to open our relationship to him. We were shocked and tried to talk to him. But it seemed like that nice person had disappeared and an animal showed up. We rejected him many times and he has been sending us nude photos, insults and some threats.
We are really stressed and indecisive about what to do. What would you suggest?
And we are greatful now that history will never hear our names, as we watched the sun, the stars, and all the light and warmth in space disappear at a single flick.
My grandmother minced an entire head of garlic using a paring knife. It took her 20 minutes.
My mother really over-whipped the whipping cream.
Also, my pie was underdone 😵 whoops! Nobody complained, and the whole dang thing got eaten, but I definitely noticed.
Edit: AND! My dad mixed his red wine with Zevia (soda) 😱
I’m curious about the holidays you might have added to the calendar. (Seasons).
I added ‘Spooky Day’ with these traditions:
Wear Costumes, Trick or Trick, and Decorate as traditions.
Follow up question: Which ones did you delete?
I delete Neighborhood Brawl & Talk Like A Pirate Day for every household. I edit most of the holidays too.
What about you?
Edit: I did NOT expect this to blow up! I may not be able to reply to everyone but I’m reading each comment!
Edit 2: Since a lot of people are asking. Here’s a good tutorial on how to edit holidays: https://www.thegamer.com/the-sims-4-seasons-holiday-calendar-guide/
> To add a custom holiday simply click the "add holiday" option after selecting any day that doesn't already have a holiday icon on it. This will then give you a screen where you can customize your holiday.
> In the top left is an icon that can be changed and next to it is a space to name your celebration. If you want neighborhood Sims to decorate their houses for the occasion you can select a decoration theme from
> Alternatively selecting none will mean the only decorations would be any your Sim manually selects from the 'attic shack decoration box' which you can buy in build mode. The final option in this top space is a tick box for if Sims will get the day off from work and school.
> Once these details are filled in you can then choose up to five traditions that your Sims can follow on the day to gain positive moodlets. If you want to create an event that just gives Sims a day off from school or work, for instance in order to have scheduled vacation time, you can leave the traditions blank.
Hi guys, I had an incredible date yesteday with this girl, the conversation was smooth, she reciprocated my every escalation and ended the date with a great kiss.
Today, I got her text that she felt that she is still not over her ex with who she broke up recently and that it's probably a bad idea if we keep texting / hanging out.
Now this girl really checks all my boxes and I don't want to let her go. What can I do in this situation? I don't want to pursue and make her feel uncomfortable, yet I do not want to break contact with her.
Any advice will be helpful.
