Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
What is the opposite of a croissant?
When you order a large combo meal in north korea what size is your drink?
What is a foot long and slippery?
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
Boy : "Dad, could you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
What is the best month to drink a lot of beer?
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
What is always the score at the end of a “best-of-three” match?
One won one, and one won two.
What is a clown fish's favorite artist?
What is it called when you get a discount on explosives?
What is a mouths favourite day of the week?
What is considerably more valuable than a dad bod?
What last name belongs to a man who is annoying and inherited a lot of money?
What is big, green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
What is a redneck's favourite car?
My friend said, “My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”
Me: Cats. Cats love fish.
What is a pirate’s favorite kind of socks
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
I asked my blonde g/f, "What do you call a creature that is half man and half animal?"
In a flash she said, "Buffalo Bill."
What is a physicists favorite saying?
A child with a speech impediment is dressed as a pirate. A man asks what are you. He says he is a birate. You mean a pirate? Yes a birate. Oh well then where are your buccaneers?
On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!
What do you call a Canadian who is kind of a jerk?
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
He likes the "r", but he loves the "c"!
What is the difference between a man in a tuxedo riding a bicycle and a bum on a tricycle?
What is a polygon?
That's when your parrot ends up missing.
What is a cartographers favorite pair of trousers?
A cable repairman was on our street today and asked what time it is.
I told him it's between 8am and 1pm.
Once upon a time a lion and a cheetah had a race . This is what happened.
What brand of shoe is a Czech's favorite?
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
What is the difference of a dog and a can of baked beans?
Well you see, the resemblance is un-canny.
What do you call a man from the Netherlands who is also flying on a airplane?
You know what a fight between Cloud Strife and Hero is Smash is called...
What is a half-life fan's favorite piece of farm equipment?
What is the worst part about sleeping like a log
You could end up in the fireplace when you wake up
What is a musicians favourite power tool?
What is the body temperature of a tauntaun?
What is the worst way to ruin a joke?
What is the name of a casino that even kids can gamble in?
What time is it when you see a cow laying in a field?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Boy: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”
Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
Son: Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?
Son: Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?
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