This happened with me today morning. My phone's headphone jack isn't working so I asked my dad what to do about it.
He said, "Let's get a headphone Jill, then!"
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︎ Dec 13 2020
The other day I had a friend ask me what I thought about Bruce Willis
Told him I'm a Die Hard fan
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Me: Ask me what I think about windmills.
My mom: What do you think about windmills?
Me: Big fan.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
So after becoming a father, my dad and I were talking about how we couldnβt believe any man would walk away from his kids. My dad says dead beat isnβt a good enough name so he asks me what they should be called. I said:
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Me: What should we do about the sleeping arrangements during our holiday? Her: I was thinking of...
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︎ Jan 02 2020
A worker tells his boss about a great idea. The boss says "let me think about it" then pulls a bad 80's wig from his desk and puts it on. The worker asks "what's that for?"
The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."
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︎ Nov 12 2019
My son asked me what I think about Mormons
Are you asking if they're devils or saints? Well this day I say the latter!
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︎ Oct 19 2019
My friend asked me, βwhatβs the best part about living in Switzerland?β
I said, βI donβt know, but the flag is a big plus.β
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︎ Jan 28 2019
Someone asked me, what do I know about midgets?
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︎ Sep 29 2019
How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
My physics teacher asked me what I knew about wavelength.
I said, "If I'm saying goodbye to someone I like it's usually a longer one."
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︎ Aug 14 2019
Johnny is in class learning about animals and the teacher asks, βcan anyone tell me what other name for dwarf goats go by?β Johnnyβs hand shot up:
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︎ Aug 01 2019
My friend asked me what I thought about his miniature windmill...
I told him, βNot a huge fan.β
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︎ Jul 20 2019
"Tell me what you know about potassium."
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︎ May 18 2019
If you were to ask me if I knew any jokes about sodium, do you know what I would say?
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︎ Feb 19 2019
Iβm not up to date with tennis, can someone tell me what all the racket is about?
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︎ Sep 11 2018
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
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︎ Jan 16 2019
I had an argument with my friend about what the longest river in the world was. He wouldn't believe me that the Amazon river was the second largest river.
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︎ May 25 2019
A friend asked me what I thought about strip clubs...
I said, β There are a lot of hard times in there.β
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︎ Sep 17 2018
You know what bugs me about quantum mechanics?
They charge $500 to "fix" a bunch of stuff that probably wasn't even really wrong with your atom in the first place.
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︎ Jul 20 2018
Dad called and told me "you know how you're always picking on my about eating German sausages?" I said yes what about it?
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︎ Mar 25 2018
A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah, get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens up and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".
The son says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three different pet stores before I found one that sold toucans.".
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︎ Aug 24 2018
Enough about me, what do you think of my tie?
https://youtu.be/wMtsM-5qubI
I hope you like my first contribution to /dadjokes :)
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︎ Oct 04 2015
My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.
I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...
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︎ Apr 25 2018
Me: "We need to find a place for our daughter's birthday toys." Wife: "What about our wardrobe?"
Me: "No, that can stay where it is."
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︎ Jun 25 2017
My friend asked me what I thought about islands.
I said I don't like them atoll.
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︎ Nov 06 2012
A customer asked me what I knew about lightbulbs
I told him that they were screwed up
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︎ Jul 09 2015
I got into an argument about apostrophes, I don't know what possessed me to do that.
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︎ Mar 22 2014
Me: Did you hear about that actress getting stabbed to death last night? What's her name, Reese something or other?
Wife: Witherspoon?
Me: No, with a knife.
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︎ Apr 08 2017
When I was about 11, I wore my hair in a ponytail. Dad asked me, "You know what's under a ponytail, don't you?"
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︎ Jan 20 2014
My English teacher asked me what I think about loyalty...
I said I prefer Green tea!
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︎ Mar 18 2016
I was talking to my dad about something serious and he said, "That reminds me of what your grandpa said before he kicked the bucket..."
I looked at him confused when he said, "I wonder how far I can kick that bucket."
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︎ Feb 10 2015
This is what my dad sent me when I was telling him about my first trip to St. Louis.
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︎ Oct 28 2013
I told my dad about r/dadjokes and he asked me if I posted what he sent me on Thursday
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
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︎ May 25 2014
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