This happened with me today morning. My phone's headphone jack isn't working so I asked my dad what to do about it.

He said, "Let's get a headphone Jill, then!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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The other day I had a friend ask me what I thought about Bruce Willis

Told him I'm a Die Hard fan

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/axiomaticsteve
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Me: Ask me what I think about windmills.

My mom: What do you think about windmills?

Me: Big fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcelrascher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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So after becoming a father, my dad and I were talking about how we couldn’t believe any man would walk away from his kids. My dad says dead beat isn’t a good enough name so he asks me what they should be called. I said:

A joke, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjmaxal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Me: What should we do about the sleeping arrangements during our holiday? Her: I was thinking of...
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tnethacker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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A worker tells his boss about a great idea. The boss says "let me think about it" then pulls a bad 80's wig from his desk and puts it on. The worker asks "what's that for?"

The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nlwe_s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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My son asked me what I think about Mormons

Are you asking if they're devils or saints? Well this day I say the latter!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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My friend asked me, β€œwhat’s the best part about living in Switzerland?”

I said, β€œI don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsianMethodist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Someone asked me, what do I know about midgets?

"Very little," I said.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_ched
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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My physics teacher asked me what I knew about wavelength.

I said, "If I'm saying goodbye to someone I like it's usually a longer one."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Johnny is in class learning about animals and the teacher asks, β€œcan anyone tell me what other name for dwarf goats go by?” Johnny’s hand shot up:

Ooh ooh Pygmy!! Pygmy!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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My friend asked me what I thought about his miniature windmill...

I told him, β€œNot a huge fan.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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I wrote some good books about music. What pisses me off is that...

...nobody wants to rhythm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaSmurfCRO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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"Tell me what you know about potassium."

K

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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If you were to ask me if I knew any jokes about sodium, do you know what I would say?

Na

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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I’m not up to date with tennis, can someone tell me what all the racket is about?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redjai15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.

"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.

"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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I had an argument with my friend about what the longest river in the world was. He wouldn't believe me that the Amazon river was the second largest river.

He was in De-Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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A friend asked me what I thought about strip clubs...

I said, β€œ There are a lot of hard times in there.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slernate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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You know what bugs me about quantum mechanics?

They charge $500 to "fix" a bunch of stuff that probably wasn't even really wrong with your atom in the first place.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathAndMirth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Dad called and told me "you know how you're always picking on my about eating German sausages?" I said yes what about it?

I'm the wurst ain't I?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrNoInch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah, get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens up and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three different pet stores before I found one that sold toucans.".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin_Kush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Enough about me, what do you think of my tie?

https://youtu.be/wMtsM-5qubI

I hope you like my first contribution to /dadjokes :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennydoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2015
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My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.

I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mindsound
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Me: "We need to find a place for our daughter's birthday toys." Wife: "What about our wardrobe?"

Me: "No, that can stay where it is."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gazcobain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
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My friend asked me what I thought about islands.

I said I don't like them atoll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/errantgamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2012
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A customer asked me what I knew about lightbulbs

I told him that they were screwed up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2003z440
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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I got into an argument about apostrophes, I don't know what possessed me to do that.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justhereforhides
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
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Me: Did you hear about that actress getting stabbed to death last night? What's her name, Reese something or other?

Wife: Witherspoon? Me: No, with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunzerks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
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When I was about 11, I wore my hair in a ponytail. Dad asked me, "You know what's under a ponytail, don't you?"

A horse's ass.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truleerotten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
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My English teacher asked me what I think about loyalty...

I said I prefer Green tea!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexy_Krampus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
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I was talking to my dad about something serious and he said, "That reminds me of what your grandpa said before he kicked the bucket..."

I looked at him confused when he said, "I wonder how far I can kick that bucket."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nahbois19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
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You know what always irritated me about FedEX?

It really isn't fair that X is the only letter that gets fed. They should feed all of the other letters of the alphabet as well.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmnesiaTDD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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This is what my dad sent me when I was telling him about my first trip to St. Louis.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oBradleyo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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I told my dad about r/dadjokes and he asked me if I posted what he sent me on Thursday

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/all_we_need_is_us
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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