Walked Into A Bar Puns

It was tense.

That‘s the punch line!

…or make that 12 bars to be exact.

The third guy ducked

And a chair…and a table…and a…

His classmates passed the bar.

Apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough.

The fourth one ducked.

God, my life is a joke.

So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?

The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head

A length of freeway walked into a bar, and yelled out "I'm the meanest bit of road west of the Pesos, nobody wanna mess with me!"

Then some duplicated overpass walked into the bar. "Anybody think they're tough enough to take on this piece of transit infrastructure? Well, are ya?"

Finally a stretch of dual carriageway walked into the bar. "This bad boy is badder than all you weaklings, whaddya gonna do about it!"

As they were all glaring at each other in a Mexican standoff, some bicycle laneway walked into the bar, threw a chair out of the way and kicked over a table. "I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, baddest piece of asphalt there is! You're all soft snowflakes! Ain't anyone who has the guts to take me on!"

The first three roadways all immediately turned to the bar and started meekly sipping their drinks, trying to look inconspicuous. The bartender asked them "What's the matter, are you going to let him get away with that? Why don't you stand up to him?"

"We aren't going to mess with him", they replied, "He's a real cycle path".

“Ouch!”

The bartender asked are you ladies from Ireland? The girls smiled and said Wales. The bartender replied are you two whales from Ireland?

“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff”, said the bartender.

“Just call me Hoff”, he replied.

“Sure”, said the bartender, “no hassle”.

And a table... And a stool...

Pun in, ten dead.

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender immediately kicked him out. The mushroom responded with c’mon I’m a fungi

One was assalted

He asked the bartender for a beer, and one for the road.

He said to the bartender, “Arr, it’s driving me nuts!”

... He came, he saw, he conquered

The bar got shut down by the health department.

He was hit in the temple.

Bartender looked at it and said, “why do you have to be so negative!”

He said it left a bruise.

That's the punch line.

That's the punchline

And then a chair, and then a table

That’s the punch line.

Then into a table... and then into a chair!

My life is a joke.

That's the punch line.

That's the punch line

I guess you could call that a punch line

Things got a little tense.

That's the punch line.

then a table, and a chair

... apparently the bar wasn't set high enough

And the bartender said

"Wow how did you do that?"

Ouch

Apparently, it wasn't set high enough.

And things got a little tense.

The bartender said “how did you do that?”

Things got a little tense.

It hurt

That's the punch line.

The third one ducked!

the third one ducked.