What causes that vague feeling of unease when you look at an anthropomorphic salad?

The uncanny Hidden Valley effect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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Some people say I'm too vague

But you know how the saying goes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cunt_Puffin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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My friend started reading something I’d vaguely heard before so...

I interrupted him and said β€œI already read it before”

He said, ” Do you mean, You’ve been on reddit before?”

I replied, β€œNo I mean I’ve read it before.”

My friend said, β€œ Dude with that grammar I doubt you’ve read anything before.”

I protested, β€œ Hey, I’ve read IT”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptSzat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Someone told me I'm super vague

Lets just say they wont be saying that any more

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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The testes and the urethra are not even vaguely similar.

There is a vas deferens between them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pedantichrist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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My local psychic can only make vague guesses.

He calls them his hypnotheses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shotpun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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how does ABC play music?

They use CD

(told by my daughter who has vaguely seen me use a CD before)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zvekl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Have you heard of the underwater google bandit?

They can’t find him because victims are only giving vague descriptions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obscure_Things
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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A joke about a suit that doesn’t fit?

Hey fam... My grandpa passed away yesterday and as I’ve been reflecting on old memories I vaguely remembered this old joke he used to tell me. I was hoping maybe someone in this community could help. I don’t remember much about it other than that it was about a suit that didn’t fit and the person in the joke had to keep getting it tailored. And maybe it was just the way my grandpa told the joke, but he’d always make this really theatrical voice and yell β€œhey! what did you do to my new suit?!” If anyone can help a grieving girl out that would be swell. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missjayelle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I was watching a series of increasingly funny cow videos, and even though CowVid#18 was hilarious...

...I just couldn't bring myself to watch the next one. I just had this vague sense that something bad was going to happen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What did the Italian man have for dinner?

A little pizza this and a little pizza that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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I think my wife wants me to cover myself in oil.

I vaguely overheard her going on and on about how I never glisten.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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Need some debating puns please

Have to write some shit for the school magazine about debating. Just anything even vaguely related to it, the worse the better. Cheers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Varelse21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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Have to Get Specific

Got my girlfriend with this one just now.

Me: Going into the kitchen to get something to drink, you want anything?

GF: Sure

Me: Anything Specific?

GF: No don't think so

Me: Anything Vague?

proceeds to laugh the whole way to the kitchen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeHeTyler
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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My dadjoked the hell of me.

A rope is at a bar late at night. He's just getting drunk enough to be annoying, so the bartender asks him to leave. The rope begs and pleads and he eventually, recognizing that it futile, gets up and leaves the bar. He goes around the corner and cuts off the end of himself and he then tatters the end. He returns to the bar and the bartender vaguely recognizing him, says, "Weren't you in here a little while ago?”

The rope denies it immediately, and responds with an assertive β€œNo.”

The bartender about 75% sure he was in the bar earlier, says β€œYeah aren't you the rope?"

The rope says "A frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudeitsjustme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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My wife set me up perfectly.

She was writing an email back to her father who has a tendency to be vague.

Wife: "You know,communication is really a lost art. I'd say I'm a good judge of that."

Me: "I guess that makes you a rater of a lost art."

Groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ks64165n
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2014
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Got my classmate

Sitting in a lecture I was playing with a piece of paper, crushing to a vague bowl shape, which I subsequently placed on my knee so that it looked kind of like a little hat. My friend leans over and picks it up, but then puts it back, saying, "It fits perfectly."

So I lean back and whisper in his ear,

"That's because it's a knee cap."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davrockist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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