[Amick] The part the Celtics don't want to hear? Isaiah Thomas, much like Paul George, has always had eyes for the Lakers http://usat.ly/2mgxxtg twitter.com/sam_amick/sta…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forzadepor13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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G-Grandfather Najib Taky-U-Deen (23). Briefly a post hospital surgeon in Alcatraz. He was ordered on duty aboard USAT "Thomas" to the Philippines. 1901 imgur.com/kVkOm4P
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breathlessness
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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USAT Thomas - troop ship in New York Harbor c.1900 [3104 x 1180]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanSmith
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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[ROLEPLAY] Nusantara Raya, Year Twenty: Glass and Light; Faith and Fortune (1)

>* Telah habis sudah cinta ini // Tak lagi tersisa untuk dunia >* Karena tlah kuhabiskan // Sisa cintaku hanya untukmu >* And the love that i had has all run out // And there is none left for this world >* Because i have spent it all on you // My love was all for you

Nusantara Raya

Year Twenty: How much we've done; How much more remains.

Previous issue: Year One: How far we've come; How far we'll go.

> * 1 June 2041

>It has been two decades since that fateful morning in 2021, when Southeast Asia awoke to a world aflame and their worst fears come to life. This Persekutuan took its first, hesitant steps into the harsh light of a brave new world, blinking and mewling like a babe in its reluctance and uncertainty.

>It was only thanks to the leadership of this Persekutuan's founders - President Joko Widodo, Sultan Abdullah of Pahang, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, and Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah - that Nusantara was able to build a better union for the people of this archipelago. Beset at all sides by jealous eyes and power-hungry empires, reliant on trade in a suddenly deglobalized world, and united by the faintest cultural ties and a shared reluctance to give up hard-won independence, the nations of these Outer Islands took a bad hand and did the best that they could.

>Today, Nusantara stands apart as a paragon to the world - one of resilience, independence, and quiet sovereignty. From its megalopolises hail inventors, innovators, leaders, and cultural hearthrobs. On the world stage, this Archipelago is regarded with muted respect, winning partners and friends through hushed words and careful planning. Peaceful coexistence, that hallmark of Nusantaran diplomacy, has led to a prosperous Indo-Pacific, one built upon pre-Collapse tradition and post-America norms.

>Despite moves towards centralization, Nusantara remains at its core a loose federation - a [mandala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala_(political_model)) of mandalas, if you will - founded upon personal ties and a mutual desire to not be minnows in an ocean of sharks. Its core ideology, that of Pancasila, is in practice pragmatic

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElysianDreams
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2021
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Covid problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Spi__
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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Storia di eroem

Siamo in un mondo alternativo, dove i continenti sono solo 3:Tyarak, un posto desertico e inospitale, con poche cittΓ  lungo il fiume Thof, l’unico fiume di tutto il continente. Per questo c’è solo una nazione, ghatlak, cittΓ  rurale situata lungo tutto il fiume. Qui ci sono varie cittΓ , e tranne la capitale, ghalitay, tutte le cittΓ  si basano dull’agricoltira , e anche le poche aziende per l’utilizzo del malk (un energia simile ai laser che puΓ² essere usata per molteplici scopi, anche riguardanti la guerra) si incentrano su sitemi riguardo l’agricoltura. Il secondo continente e il Qaslad, continente molto grosso , con numerosi fiumi, i piΓΉ importanti sono hak, mak, e Γ¦k. Qui ci sono ventisette paesi, di cui tredici,(yau, uht, majh,wenk,rty, wqa,uhtymk, rews, mkuj, ghuth, xanathar, tazh e dsal) sono liberi, nella parte settentrionale nell’isola, diventando i paesi piΓΉ industrializzati del globo, e facendo numerose scoperte( e grazie a loro se esiste il wi-fi) , principalmente allo scopo di aiutare tutto il mondo grazie al malk. Maih, wenk,rty,wga, yau e uht abitano sulle coste del fiume mak ( hanno anche formato un alleanza politica e militare, la Repubblica di Mak), mentre le altre abitano nell’entroterra, tranne dsal, che occupa tutta la costa ed e la piΓΉ grande cittΓ  del settentrione. Gli altri 14 paesi sono waterlΕ“, wehg, quyt, sdajk, ghuyl, tyurellok, kijiji, tfah, loppin,qasit, yuttin,ghaffrlir, phall, tyuΕ“, æëiΓΉ, sono tutti sotto un regime autoritario chiamato β€œLa Terra dei Due Fiumi”, che usa il malk come strumento per creare armi, e β€œgrazie β€œ a loro esistono i klomashikov, che sparano una raffica di 600 colpi in 10 secondi, i firx I, II e III, cecchini che arrivano a di stanze di 3000(I) km, 6000 (II)km e 12000 (III) km, oltre a vari altri fui ili e granate che vengono usate tutt’oggi ovunque. Tutte le cittΓ  sono all’interno di hak e Γ¦k, compresa la suprema Capitale, phall, dove Γ¨ situata la sede del re supremo della Terra dei Due Fiumi. Le cittΓ  non hanno libertΓ  di stampa, e nessuna forma di libertΓ , sonno praticamente schiavi del sovrano, e per questo si sono formate molte organizzazioni contro il regime.L’ultimo continente e il Tamat, dove inizia la storia... le regioni sono tre: -Quella interna, dove si studia il malk per ogni cosa, e dove sono situate tutte le industrie degne di nota. Le cittΓ  sono sei, tutte gigantesche e tutte intorno ad un grande lago, il lago Tamat. Le cittΓ  sono:Jennifer, keplens,Willk,Matliy,Thomas e Dustin. Ognuna gest

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegrandegenio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2021
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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The Ancient Romans II
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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School Was Clothed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennydoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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Letting loose with these puns
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Couch potato
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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Baka!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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All dad jokes are bad and here’s why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

It’s pronounced β€œNoel.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_fried_rice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
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concrete πŸ—Ώ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?

After all his first name is No-vac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangryman23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

  • Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

  • French/Finnish art

  • Country/Canadian rap

  • Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

  • Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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That’s Michelle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FLEXSEALBREAKER
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonStimpo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerboi1198
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPJ2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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is Isn't
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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@u/mordrathe - remix
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpydrRydr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?

Bob

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4fuchssake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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I named my dog "5 miles."

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! πŸ˜€ Thank you for the awards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javacafe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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My WIFI password is 2444666668888888

Just to clarify, 12345678

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πŸ‘€︎ u/az1m_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKhakiNerfHerder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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The two genders
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShrimpRex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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Guns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlayYo-KaiWatch21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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