Tônia Carrero (August 23, 1922 – March 3, 2018), Praia Vermelha - Urca,1950 - Digital colorized, colors by page www.facebook.com/colorizando
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👤︎ u/Candido3d
📅︎ Mar 31 2020
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

👍︎ 16k
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📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 02 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

👍︎ 14k
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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

👍︎ 19k
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📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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What do you call quesadillas you eat in the morning?

Buenosdillas

👍︎ 12k
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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/shampy311
📅︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Amazekam
📅︎ Jan 03 2022
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No spoilers
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Onfour
📅︎ Jan 06 2022
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Covid problems
👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/Lance986
📅︎ Dec 15 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/demotrek
📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jan 03 2022
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Spi__
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

👍︎ 15k
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👤︎ u/djcarves
📅︎ Dec 27 2021
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The Ancient Romans II
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/mordrathe
📅︎ Dec 29 2021
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

👍︎ 17k
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👤︎ u/Sk2ec
📅︎ Jan 01 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

👍︎ 13k
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👤︎ u/TheTreelo
📅︎ Jan 01 2022
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School Was Clothed
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/Kennydoe
📅︎ Jan 08 2022
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Letting loose with these puns
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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Couch potato
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📅︎ Dec 31 2021
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All dad jokes are bad and here’s why

Why

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/LordCinko
📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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Baka!
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/ridi86
📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

👍︎ 14k
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📅︎ Dec 25 2021
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Pun intended.
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📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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concrete 🗿
👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 07 2022
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Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?

After all his first name is No-vac

👍︎ 4k
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📅︎ Jan 06 2022
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If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

  • Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

  • French/Finnish art

  • Country/Canadian rap

  • Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

  • Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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That’s Michelle
👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 10 2022
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Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/DonStimpo
📅︎ Dec 31 2021
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What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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is Isn't
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/mordrathe
📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/MrPJ2020
📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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@u/mordrathe - remix
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/SpydrRydr
📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?

Bob

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/4fuchssake
📅︎ Jan 05 2022
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I named my dog "5 miles."

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/javacafe
📅︎ Jan 10 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/rj104
📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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My WIFI password is 2444666668888888

Just to clarify, 12345678

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/az1m_
📅︎ Jan 03 2022
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Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 10 2022
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I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/ENJOYblet
📅︎ Jan 05 2022
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The two genders
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/ShrimpRex
📅︎ Dec 27 2021
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Guns
👍︎ 4k
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📅︎ Jan 10 2022
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If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom” then shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced…

“BOOM”?!

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Dec 24 2021
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I like my coffee how I like my slaves

free

👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/zRepulse
📅︎ Dec 17 2021
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