After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Don't try to eat the chickens in Minecraft.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I woodnβt try it if I were you...
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Don't even try it.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
You really should try archery while blindfolded.
You don't know what you're missing.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
My friend always told me to try different types of tea instead of drinking only Earl Grey.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Let me try uncle gravity next
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︎ Oct 28 2020
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
βYou can't cut me down,β the tree complains. βIβm a talking tree!β
The man responds, βYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.β
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Been meaning stop here for breakfast...everyone says I have to try their gloryholes.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Don't try to high five an executioner....
They'll leave you hanging.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
At Thanksgiving this year Iβm going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.
They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches youβve never heard of but need to try
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︎ Nov 06 2020
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I try and keep track of how much toffee I consume.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, βWhy donβt you try lunges?β
I said, βThat...sounds like a big step.β
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldnβt make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
My brother wants to try skydiving so I warned him that...
It has so many downfalls.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I try to use the word mucho as much as I can around my Spanish-speaking friends.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.
My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.
All it did was make them a bit sluggish.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it
The current version has a nasty virus
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....
It's all about raisin awareness
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?
You get a ras***poutine***
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︎ Oct 28 2020
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Thereβs a new drug going around that is nicknamed βangleβ. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and donβt want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.
I guess Iβm just too square to try angle.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Why do astronomers always try to lose?
Theyβre only interested in the constellation prize.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully itβll produce a nice stock.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
So I try to eat healthy
But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers
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︎ Jun 30 2020
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.
It seems he doesnβt have the balls to do it again.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I finally gave Japanese Natto a try
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︎ Sep 24 2020
First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when Iβm down I go to the mall and use the elevator.
So it can lift me up and make my day better.
I tried to OC.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I try speaking to my grandfather in his urn.
I have a feeling he is turning a deaf ear.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I always try to avoid cracks in the pavement
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What do you call it when two spies named james try to become friends?
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︎ Sep 15 2020
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.
Heβs my cousin, twice [removed].
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I'll try but cloths on.
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︎ Dec 14 2019
I try so hard to make puns
But it's always a dad joke
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down "funeral"?
No? Shame, it was real fun.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I always try to push other people at the gym
I once knocked an old woman into a treadmill
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!β A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Have you gotten to try blindfolded archery?
No? Well you don't know what you're missing!
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︎ Sep 11 2020
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