When no one is around, I would loudly describe the process of cutting down a single tree.
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"
The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, “What was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”
The other replied, “Tiiiiimmmber!”
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut down a tree upon arrival he started cutting down trees until one tree shouted wait I'm a talking tree
Which he responded and you will dialogue!
Did you hear about the guy who chopped off his foot when cutting down a tree?
As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut 2,789 trees
I know because everytime I cut one, I keep a log
My lumberjack friend told me that he'd cut down a total of 13,207 trees.
When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
How do you cut down a tree?
You have to axe it first.
A man is preparing to cut down a tree in the forest.
The tree says, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The man replies, "You're going to dialogue."
Did you hear about the lumberjack who cut down the wrong trees ?
He forgot his chopping list.
My tree was cut down for paper
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.
Do you think it's stumped?
A lumberjack once told me he’s cut down 27,562 trees
“How do ya know exactly how many?” I inquired
Lumberjack: “Easy. I keep a log.”
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
A guy I don’t know wants to cut down the trees in my backyard
I told him ‘I woodn’t do that if I were you’
I got arrested for taking a video while cutting down trees
Now facing charges for illegal vlogging.
Did you hear about the guy who kept cutting down trees?
They tried to investigate the trees, but they were all stumped.
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
My wife told me to cut down a tree
I asked her why and she says the tree always pokes her when she wants some alone time outside.
I told her the tree doesn't want to leaf her alone.
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I can cut down a tree by just looking at it
It’s true I saw it with my own two eyes
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, “NO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
I was cutting down some trees in the middle of the night and I couldn’t see anything...
But I heard my chainsaw some stuff
Did you hear about the lumberjack who got fired for cutting too many trees ?
I recently retired from my job as a lumberjack. Over my career I cut down 6, 324 trees...
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
Why are three-dimensional objects so good at cutting down trees?
I wanted to set the world record for the most trees cut down,
But I just couldn’t hack it
Tree before it gets cut down: wait! I'm a talking tree!
Lumberjack: and you will dialogue
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!”
The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
A lumberjack was about to cut off a tree when it suddenly said "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack then said: "And you will dialogue."
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
How does a lumberjack know how many trees he's cut down?
As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
I can cut down trees just by looking at them....
I saw it with my own two eyes
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
I can cut down a tree only using my vision. It's true! I saw it with my own eyes!
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
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